I use the five love languages assessment and most people seem to like it.

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Jan 29, 2013
10:22:07pm

CounselingCoug

I use the five love languages assessment and most people seem to like it.

I think it can be used to facilitate a good discussion about needs and how to express love. It's pretty simple to understand and generates useful ideas for people. I like to use it as a starting point in couples counseling.

I really love John Gottman's work and his book "7 principles for making marriage work" is another really good book just fyi.

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Jan 29, 2013 at 10:22:07pm

Message modified by CounselingCoug on Jan 29, 2013 at 10:22:07pm

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CounselingCoug

New username: ImRonBurgundy?
Bio page: CounselingCoug
Joined: Apr 11, 2012
Last login: Aug 25, 2020
Total posts: 0 (0 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

HCBW asking me to choose 10 things I want her to do for me...

Kuga

1/28/13 10:21pm

Pinterest is the devil. This is the start of a downward spiral.

MightyFreakingCougar

1/28/13 10:29pm

Don't be surprised when you see "Let me get a gym membership" on her top 10

MightyFreakingCougar

1/28/13 10:41pm

What's your point?

Kuga

1/28/13 10:48pm

Same as below, they said it a lot better. Just be very careful.

MightyFreakingCougar

1/28/13 11:11pm

Personally, 65 would be in my top 10

Coog4Life

1/28/13 10:30pm

<< Deleted >>

1/28/13 10:35pm

I think the RS is overcomplicating it. Guys are not that hard to figure out.

1/28/13 10:32pm

.... ..... .... ....

Zaphod

1/28/13 10:32pm

This is a really bad idea

wapiti

1/28/13 10:34pm

Explain

Kuga

1/28/13 10:49pm

Each thing you put on the list translates to she's doing a bad job at that.

1/28/13 11:02pm

This is exactly right.

klay

1/29/13 8:49am

Good post.

mr_thekid

1/29/13 4:19pm

Yeah

PharmCoug

1/29/13 1:58pm

Sounds like something she is doing for herself

messi

1/28/13 10:37pm

Either that was TIC, or a really yewt thing to say.

Kuga

1/28/13 10:43pm

It's true, though. I should have been more

messi

1/28/13 11:03pm

Sadly, has merit and truth. I wish FB, Twilight and bookclub gossip would all go

unctoothman

1/28/13 10:57pm

This goes for guys too, not just women...

Kuga

1/29/13 6:51am

CB?

cypresstx

1/29/13 6:59am

To an extent, yeah. I suppose there are worse sites than Pinterest or Cb...

Kuga

1/29/13 7:08am

I agree with you. Anything that takes time away from with your spouse or family

unctoothman

1/29/13 11:46am

Add in there "Read CB together"

StalwartBraveTrue

1/29/13 4:15pm

2 thoughts

BlueCoug

1/28/13 10:39pm

Yeah, that's a great one if you want to sleep alone for a few weeks

workindev

1/28/13 10:40pm

FYI, the Mrs. is 20 weeks along w/ our 2nd child, so #83 doesn't apply IMO.

Kuga

1/28/13 10:46pm

So, she is pregnant and asking you to tell her what she is doing wrong? How can

viper

1/29/13 11:29am

Ask her which ones she thinks you wold want. See how well she really knows you.

unctoothman

1/28/13 10:41pm

Been married almost 5 years.

Kuga

1/28/13 10:46pm

You should probably ask what she wants you to do more. After 5 years she

unctoothman

1/28/13 10:51pm

Good point. I stumbled across the list of things for her, planning on having her

Kuga

1/28/13 10:54pm

Oh oh. I ca see where this is leading to...

Rhino84

1/28/13 11:04pm

Sounds like this list was made by a woman...

Blue Morg

1/28/13 10:54pm

I thought that was a given. It's blatantly obvious.

1/28/13 11:04pm

89 is good, in many ways. Stay away from 91 and other Stepford suggestions

Florwood

1/28/13 10:56pm

You are treading on dangerous waters my friend.

RyneK

1/28/13 10:59pm

^^^This^^^

mgpid

1/28/13 11:05pm

Good feedback; thoughtful. Thanks.

Kuga

1/28/13 11:07pm

Ding ding ding ... reminds me of the Grapefruit Syndrome

Bergloewe

1/28/13 11:23pm

10 things is way too many. Just 2 or 3 would go a long way.

1/28/13 11:07pm

do you have kids?

azuniga

1/28/13 11:13pm

Me? Or Cosmo Kramer? We have 1 boy and another due in June.

Kuga

1/28/13 11:17pm

She's prego? Hormones and emotions all over the place?

MightyFreakingCougar

1/28/13 11:24pm

Isn't that a given? ;)

Kuga

1/29/13 6:54am

As a couples counselor I very much agree with this. 10 is way too many.

1/28/13 11:23pm

Thank you for the advice! Good perspective

Kuga

1/29/13 7:05am

It sounds like you have a very healthy relationship

1/29/13 10:35pm

Here's what you should do, instead

dchandle15

1/28/13 11:32pm

We're all very well aware of your "opinions" Board Ruiner!! Ha ha, Jk.

MightyFreakingCougar

1/28/13 11:35pm

My first post on the main board since that comment, not forgotten yet I guess

dchandle15

1/29/13 12:06am

Ha ha, just razzin' ya. You certainly made waves.

MightyFreakingCougar

1/29/13 12:21am

Yeah, it's interesting how far that went after a simple venting post

dchandle15

1/29/13 1:33am

Here's some perspective from a HCBW...that list is ridiculous.

nell

1/29/13 12:35am

My HCBW says Pinteret should only be a diversion not a self help book.

1/29/13 1:20am

+1

nell

1/29/13 9:17am

Instead you might come up with a list of 10 things you will do, instead of her

cypresstx

1/29/13 6:31am

Also let her pick the changes she wants to apply to herself

cypresstx

1/29/13 7:09am

All women need to know is that actions speak louder than words

1/29/13 5:48am

'IT'S A TRAP'. Not a trap your wife set up but one pininterest is helping her

rebelCoug

1/29/13 6:19am

It's a trap!!! Is exactly the same thoughts I had

cypresstx

1/29/13 6:28am

Exactly. This is what I was getting at.

messi

1/29/13 6:45am

I would just ask her to surprise you and pick the 10 herself

runnincoug

1/29/13 8:20am

I honestly think she has really good intentions.

nell

1/29/13 9:33am

RE: HCBW asking me to choose 10 things I want her to do for me...

cheezedawg

1/29/13 9:52am

This needs to be approached as "top 10 ways I feel loved", not "top 10 things

viper

1/29/13 10:15am

Could easily become this: (link)

Florwood

1/29/13 10:46am

Tell her you love her just the way she is but if she wants to try some of the

devanwestover

1/29/13 11:15am

BUY THIS BOOK:

FunkeCoug11

1/29/13 1:27pm

Thank you, I bought the book on my Google Books account

CougarW8

1/29/13 9:51pm

I use the five love languages assessment and most people seem to like it.

1/29/13 10:22pm

Thanks, I'll check it out. The more principles the better!

FunkeCoug11

1/30/13 8:10am

I wondered if it was ever really a good idea to ask CB for advice...

CougarW8

1/29/13 9:59pm

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