Hah. too true. I know more jerk male bikers than about any category in the history of the world, and that includes Cougar fans!
But here's my layout:
$250 14yo old steel frame
$750 components
$80 shoes (although my favorites are ones a friend gave me)
$200 helmet (ditto a present, but no more than $50)
$350 sunglasses (RX, so I spend here)
$0 jersey (unless you could all those entry fees for rides)
$30 bike shorts ($80 end of the season at Contender, which is like mecca for the Egocentric Biker, but with a $50 gift card)