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Sep 19, 2014
11:37:11am
RE: boy do i have a story to tell...
so i had TWO trials yesterday (one in morning with detained client, another with non-detained in afternoon...both in San Fran)

the hotel we normally use is relatively close to court (about 1 mile...i walk) it's nothing nice but decent. most importantly it has parking for itself and is super convenient. it's also near a bunch of really good italian food restaurants that i hit up when i'm done. anyway...

that place was full so i ask my secretary to "find something similar and close to court..." umm...i'm pretty sure she set me up in the place where they filmed the homeless shelter scene in pursuit of happyness. not joking. i get out of my car and am HIT with a wave of urine smell. not "big city" smell...i know that smell. it's urine-like. i've been to NYC, DC, Paris, Buenos Aires, etc. i know that smell. it's gross. this was straight up urine. i seriously thought i wet myself or something. as i'm being intoxicated (literally) by this awful smell, i notice there is a bum, curled up and passed out about 20 feet from me on the curb. perfect! lock the doors immediately.

i get there and there are at least 50 homeless people in a one-block radius circling the area. two doors down from the "hotel" is some type of night club. on the corner, i pass two "women of the night" that, for $50 would have gladly accompanied me to my "room". the light indicating the "Yale Hotel" was the classic red light pointing toward a single, gated door. i walked up the narrow stairs to a tiny 15x15 room where an Indian guy was sitting, in the dark. next to him was a sleeping bag and two small chairs. he took my DL, made a copy and gave me my key. "you got a great room, he said...right next to the bathroom."

"so i don't have a bathroom?"

"nope...there's one right in front of your room though."

"wonderful..."

"the shower is down the hall."

"um...ok"

i walk up another narrow stair way to the second floor, open my door and notice two things immediately:

1. the smell...someone used a deodorizer to try and make it smell normal...making whatever smell was in the room worse.
2. the heat...even though it was SF, it was rainy that night and it was muggy and warm...no AC.

at this point i'm like, "no way in heck i'm staying here." i get on my phone and try a few other hotels, but at this point it's already 11:30pm and i go 0-3. i have no idea how much these other hotels would be or that there'd be rooms available so i just say screw it, and decide to stay. i go across the way to the bathroom and notice that (a) there is no sink or mirror, (b) there is no toilet paper. now, you have to understand something about me. i am VERY much a creature of habit and there are two things i do EVERY night before going to bed: (1) take a dump (2) shower. now i know i can't do the first and i gotta go. there was a single paper towel draped over the bar a handicapped person is supposed to hold on to but i knew that wouldn't be enough.

i then go down the hall to find my shower. i brought sandals so maybe it could work. i pass another hall way that is filled with big black bags of trash that stinks up the entire area. there are also boxes of overflowing garbage and alcohol. next to these bags of garbage are, of course, big black garbage bags full of laundry/sheets/towels. of course! why not? where else would they go? i get to the shower and there is a wet towel hanging on the rack from who-knows when, i open the shower door and, just in case you forgot, there's a community washcloth draped over the rack. awesome! the shower itself looks like it hasn't been properly washed in years and i pretty much decide right then and there that i'm not showering or pooping tonight, which to me is a big deal.

i then go back downstairs to move my car from off the street because (a) it will be broken into and (b) the sign said the street sweepers would be coming down that street from 2-6am that morning. the Indian man suggested the parking garage in front of the hotel. it's covered by a 20 foot barbed wire fence and asks me to enter from a different street, everything is one-way so i have to drive around the city block to get in the right way. i pay the guy to keep my car for the night and call my wife while i walk back to my "hotel" room.

i generally think i'm pretty brave but i wanted to be talking to her while i walk back...that's how nervous i was. i get back into my room and pull the bed cover down. i'm a clean freak when it comes to sheets (which is why i shower at night) so i'm pretty disgusted at this point knowing these sheets were probably in one of those bags next to the trash a few days ago. i turn my tiny tv on and thankfully seinfeld was on to help me relax and laugh a bit. i watch an episode of seinfeld and try to fall asleep at midnight.

i leave the fan on and window open because it's super warm and muggy, but that means i can hear everything going on below me all night long. the last time i checked the clock it was 1:47am. sometime between then and 6am i got a few nods of sleep in but not much. i vaguely recall some guy running down the street yelling profanities, a cop car chase, a black couple arguing about certain things i'm not sure are safe even for FO, oh...and the street sweepers, who apparently had to come down my street like 8 times to either (a) clean all the urine off or (b) sweep the homeless dude off the curb. not sure. by 6 am the hustle and bustle of the buses and cars woke me up so i went to the bathroom and washed my face off (there was a sink in the shower room). got my suit on, checked out and drove the parking garage i normally park in that is close to the court.

i ate my powerbar/vitamin water breakfast while reviewing my cases and trying not to fall asleep again. what a freaking night!
nashty
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nashty
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Related Threads Topic: boy do i have a story to tell... (nashty, Sep 19, 2014 at 9:41am)

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