young people want to be there. Enforcing arbitrary rules that make it so the youth don't want to be there just means the youth will end up somewhere else.

I remember going to a church dance when I was a teen. I showed up and didn't have a collared shirt, so I was sent home to change. Did I go home, change my clothes, and come back? Of course I didn't. I ended up at a concert of local bands hanging out with a bunch of people who were drinking and doing drugs. I also said to myself, "Hmmm...these people accept me for who I am, but the Church doesn't. I think I prefer hanging out with these people." Not long after that, I went inactive and had a lot of friends my parents hated.