When I was a kid I always wanted to watch The NeverEnding Story but never got the chance. It's not like my parents said I wasn't allowed to watch it, but whenever I'd ask to rent it they'd say it was a stupid movie and encourage me to pick something else. I didn't know anything about the movie besides what was on the cover of the VHS, but it just looked so cool- a kid riding on the back of a giant dog dragon? A movie that never ended! So awesome. But I never got to watch it.

So when I saw the movie at the library the other day I realized this was my chance to make up for my lost childhood. There's no way I could turn 30 without seeing such an epically awesome movie. I rented it, popped that sucker in, and got ready for the adventure of a life time.

I only made it 30 minutes. Man, that movie is terrible. Utter crap.

Kids, listen to your parents.