My first post after joining; one I've thought of posting for a year and today is the perfect day. After reading it, I realize I share much that is personal such that the veil of anonymity may be thin. I'm okay with that because I hope not to embarrass myself by sharing things I would not share in person.

Shortly after joining the LDS Church, my future wife, Amelia, came to the University of Oregon as a foreign student from Hong Kong (HK). The airline lost her luggage, so she showed up for church the next day wearing jeans. She was accepted, loved by the members, and embraced by the bishop's wife, June Christensen. The hug was uncomfortable because she had not grown up in a culture where public displays of affection were acceptable, but the loving embrace was another step in her growing understanding of the love of Christ and Christ's love for us through those who have become His disciples.

Many colleges close dorms during Christmas break because everyone goes home. Amelia was receiving financial assistance from her brother, so the expense of returning to HK was not an option. Ned and June Christensen invited Amelia into their home and that was the beginning of the making of an HCBW (hot cougarboard wife). Coming from HK, Amelia had no exposure to American football, she attended a game with friends, but couldn't make sense of all the running around. It was a fun but not meaningful experience. This was to change as Ned and June's son, Todd, was an exceptional football player who was going to play football for BYU when he graduated. The Christensen home, like many homes during the holiday season, was filled with fun, love, food, games, and plenty of bowl games. The family loved watching together regardless of who was playing, and did me a tremendous service by explaining to Amelia, who was clueless, why they would be cheering and so excited with each exceptional play. What a privilege to be tutored in football by among the best and in such an exciting marathon of seemingly endless games. She was hooked, and after transferring to BYU became a big fan of BYU football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and rugby.

It's wonderful when you want to go to an athletic event and know that if you are patient, your girlfriend or wife will suggest that you go to the game together or as a family. After I graduated and came to BYU for graduate school, (specifically to see if my relationship with Amelia would workout), I was blessed to be dragged (willingly) to BYU sporting events. I loved watching her enthusiastic cheering as much as the games themselves. She had a strong sense of right and wrong and would regularly challenge penalties that went against BYU. I must admit she did wear blue goggles.

Many fond memories were shared attending different sporting events, most involving BYU. We have experienced the exhilaration of victory, but have on occasion suffered the sting of defeat. There have been way more wins, but the losses have taught us that sports are for enjoyment and that there is no sense disrupting our emotional balance over things we cannot control. Fortunately, BYU and sports in general, have been rich additions to our lives.

BYU sports became much more significant with the advent of BYUTV and Amelia's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in January 2013. They offered hospice immediately as the life expectancy was 5-6 months. Amelia is a fighter and would not go down without a valiant fight. Instead of hospice we chose to receive treatment and palliative care. For those of you who have endured significant chemotherapy personally, or with a loved one, you may feel that the treatment at times is as bad or worse than the disease. Such was our situation as we saw Amelia wasting away because of disease and the ravages of treatments. When there were days that Amelia did not have the strength to leave her recliner, she found respite in sharing BYU sports with me. We would record games and watch them when she felt the worst. While she remained physically exhausted, cheering on her beloved Cougars gave her increased enthusiasm for life and a will to fight on. Those times of snuggling with Amelia while watching our beloved Cougars, transcended the sorrow and sadness of the moment and instead brought hope and recognition of how precious our shared time was, regardless of length.

Amelia passed away a year ago today. Today is a day of recognition of the loss of the calm center of my life and an acknowledgment that my biggest goal is to live worthy of the eternal covenants I have made. I'm sure of Amelia's position, and now it is up to me to return worthy to be her eternal companion. Amelia's struggle with cancer strengthened my faith as I saw family, friends, and fellow saints share burdens, lighten loads, and engulf our family in love. After spending a lifetime of learning to serve, Heavenly Father wanted Amelia and me to learn to receive. The outpouring of support and love was beyond what we could have anticipated. To all who served us and continue to serve others like us, thank you! Know that our lives have been touched in ways that you will never know, just as the simple hug of a bishop's wife touched Amelia's life forever. Thank you for allowing me to honor Amelia's memory by reminiscing about this elect lady, my eternal companion.