I'm a moron.

So I go into the men's room to drop some yewts off at the pool, could be a long trip but my phone's battery is >30% so no big deal. All 3 stalls are full. This is a big deal. I feel like I'm going to West Concourse my pants. So I'm anxiously waiting by the stalls for a stall door open, and finally I hear a toilet flush, like the clarion call of the siren. I'm ready. The door opens and I glance up to see a women coming out. I'm so distracted by my "situation" that I have virtually no filter and basically just audibly *gasp*. This is where I solidify myself as a moron...

So this girl has a gender thing that I've heard a little about at work. Identifies more with men or something. I don't know, I'm sure TheDeek can explain it. Anyway, what should I do? Cleary, just acknowledge that I was bit surprised and apologize for my reaction, right? No biggie. Is that what I do? No. My idiot brain focusing like 90% of its already limited power on not crapping my pants, decides the best thing to do is swing the pendulum just as far the other way and act real "Buddy Buddy" so maybe she'll forget my initial reaction (and yes, like you, I'm also in the future, and now realize how dumb this is). So post-gasp, I say, way too loudly, "Hey Jen!" and then gesture for a high five. AS SHE'S COMING OUT OF A BATHROOM STALL. Oh man, so gross. So she kinda of makes a subdued puzzled/disgusted face (like MallSanta reading emoji), but meets my high-five anyway. I'm such an idiot.

I can never use that bathroom again. Or face her again. If you guys know of job openings for literally any job, let me know.