We have a big jar that I will randomly put a handful of pom poms into when I see something he's done that is good. Sharing, doing a chore without being asked, helping his little sister, etc. and I make a big deal out of it. When the jar is full, we get to do something special - usually to a play place or something that's extra special for him. It's really helped me start recognizing the good. And he never knows when I'll add it into the jar so it's kind of funny when I haven't put any in for a few days and he'll start loudly talking about all the good things he's done.

Most kids I've seen act out because any attention is worth it - if they get attention for being bad, then they'll be bad. So stop the bad behavior, give a quick consequence, and be done with that discussion. But make a huge deal out of the good things - more attention on the good will usually make them want to be better.

Also, has she ever said why she's doing all do that? Ever said why she's feeling so angry?