I played softball with a guy who wasn't a student but was in our ward. He wasn't the best player on the team but we needed him for numbers - someone has to play catcher. The first time he went up to bat he held the wrong end of the bat. No joke.
One afternoon he showed up to play without having shaved for a few days. The ump told him he couldn't play unless he shaved. Someone there had a razor and he dry-shaved his whole face in about 2 minutes so he could play. Due to the resulting carnage, the ump told him he still couldn't play until the bleeding stopped.
Good times.