...up at one of Jimmy Kimmel's weekly football watching parties. (I forget, Simmons may have talked about it too.)

The guy showed up dressed to the nines, brought cupcakes and his mother, solved the Jeff Ross/Cousin Sal/Dancing with the Stars feud, pretended to enjoy Adam's "I scored a touchdown and now I'm going to defecate a football" celebration, and generally left everybody thinking he was the kookiest. coolest, nicest man they'd ever met.

I don't know what kind of dude Tom Cruise is behind closed doors, but I suspect he'd be endlessly fascinating.