My good friend called a few minutes ago and asked if I'd like to fly with the team to Nebraska, watch the game, and fly back with the team. I turned him down.

First, I'm afraid out of my mind of flying. I was fine until I had a horrible flying experience a few years ago. I even tried flying again after that, but the whole time I was miserable due to fear/anxiety. Now, due to the awesome opportunity of flying with the team and going to the game, I was willing to give it another go.

Second, a few months ago I experienced what's called a subdural hematoma (basically my brain bled). It was the worst experience of my life, and quite frankly very much life threatening. One of the scary things about it is that the doctors (including the Neurosurgeon) couldn't tell what caused it, and chalked it up as "other". The guess is that a capillary burst. It wiped me out for at least a month, and to this day I have times where my head/brain will get sore - not a normal headache, but it's like my brain was so traumatized that it's still physically feeling tired and sensitive.

So basically, if I had not had the brain bleed a few months ago I would have chanced flying even with my fear. Now, I don't know if flying could affect my brain again, but I just feel like I shouldn't chance it - especially since it happened not too long ago. I only had a few minutes to decide, and I probably made the wrong decision, but I feel like total crap that I turned down the opportunity.