I'm going to go straight over to my neighbors and pee on their dog. I can sneak up on him, he's kind of stupid and won't hear me coming. Then when I pee, he'll start barking but nobody will pay any attention to him because the son of a (motherdog) barks all the time anyway. I'll try to aim just right so as to soak him head to foot, all four foots.

I guess that will make me feel somewhat better about BYU football.