However, it sounds like very little would make them happy. (A few other messageboards have fans like that...) The game has to be on Saturday, against a "name" program, and somehow they have to make just as much money as they would if they just played Eastern Michigan at home.
You can't make everyone happy all the time, and fans of old-guard teams like Michigan are the hardest to please. They're only happy if they are winning national championships every other year.