So I'm sitting here, reflecting on the toilet being plugged today, and my mind wanders back to my first week back from the honeymoon. I can think of two bathroom related events my first week of marriage that perhaps made my wife consider the realities of being married for all eternity.

The first night at home from a day on the airplane I make a typical bathroom deposit. But it plugs, and I spend the next 45 minutes with the plunger. This was in the master bathroom, so my wife was within earshot of it all. When everything dislodged and became someone else's problem, I entered the bedroom to the words "I've never heard anyone plunge so hard for so long". Yeah, those words never preceed an amorous night, and I supposed I may have spooked her with the aggressive tone of the 45 minute ordeal.

Then later during the week I had this great idea to snack on FiberOne bars while at work. My math must have been off because if each bar is 33% of your daily fiber for a 2,000 calorie diet, then I estimated that eating five bars would give me 100% for my 3,000 calorie diet.

Throughout the day I felt rumblings, but nothing too out of the ordinary. However, about 4:30 I started feeling sick so I left early and went home. I knew something was wrong when I just had to go, and could hardly contain myself.

It was a relief when I got home without any problem. Shortly though I found myself waddling down the hallway toward the bathroom and all too suddenly deceived by an optimistic conjecture that it was really a fart that I was so feverishly withholding. It was a very low brown note, and I immediately took a shower. It was wierd telling my wife when she got home. She does the laundry, but I had to tell her why the clothes were soaking. No way to spin that mess.

I'm glad I try to be so nice to my wife. It almost makes my misadventures palletable.