months after my dad finally joined to make it complete, he took me and three of my four brothers on the ward father and son camp. Our first ever. The next morning our neighbor told my dad he had to get home now. He said they would bring our stuff and just get home. We heard mumblings that there was an accident. I pictured my oldest brother with a leg cast as we drove the 20 minutes home. We got home and that's when we were told that my oldest brother (19 years) was killed by a drunk driver. I was twelve at the time but all I remember that morning was the look in the face of our neighbor and later my parents on their knees in each other's arms sobbing uncontrollably.
I give thanks that two missionaries had brought the gospel into our lives before that sad day.
A year later my parents went to the temple and we were sealed as a family with my dad's friend going through for my brother and joining us around the alter as we were sealed as a family. It is still tough and there are still "crying days" but just for what never was and not for what was (all the nephews and nieces we didn't get to know here on earth). My brother's girlfriend and three other friends were also killed in the accident. They were returning from a Stake YA skating activity in Honolulu.
Our happy ending from such a terrible event and what lends me the strength to try to be a better person happened shortly after I returned from my mission about 10 years later. I ran into my brother's girlfriend's aunt at a friends house I was visiting. She related the following to me.
Several months ago (so this would be while I was on my mission) she started having a dream where her niece would appear and say "you guys have forgotten about me. His family didn't forget about him (she said she saw my brother standing behind her) but you did forget about me. After a few nights of this dream she looked into it and found out that her temple work was never done. So she arranged it and did her niece's temple work. About a week later her niece appeared again in a dream and thanked her and then pointed to my brother and said they were now ready and wanted to be sealed together. So this aunt went to the temple president and he replied "if they want to be sealed together then that's what we do". A few days later they sealed my brother and his girlfriend for time and all eternity. This has helped even more to remove the sting and now the sadness is just that we have to wait to see them. My dad passed a few years ago from cancer and it was very sad but we all know and rejoice just imagining the bear hug (although as far as we know are still just spirits at this point it doesn't diminish it) they shared when he arrived there.
My heart goes out to every parent that loses a child. I am grateful to have the gospel and the hope that accompanies it. This is one of the reasons I am a fan of BYU. I know it is a great missionary tool. You hear people say they don't know where they would be if not for the gospel, well I do know know where I would have been had those missionaries not knocked on our door.
My heart goes out to your family and I am thankful you have the gospel and that you are sharing your hope with others that might be suffering. I don't know how much it truely affected my parents but as a younger brother I still wonder sometimes about what it would have been like being an uncle to his kids and things like that. I miss him dearly but I know for certain that we will be reunited one day and I just hope I can be worthy of being there with them. He has set the bar very high and I hope to at least get close to it.