SL Trib: "BYU's Hoge out for year. Once called a kid "sissy" in 3rd grade"
While BYU refuses to comment on ongoing investigations, the Tribune has learned through Hoge's 5th grade girlfriend that Beau "was never a very nice kid." Per a source, Hoge once called an 8 year old boy a s---y* while playing two hand touch football on the playground. Our Kentucky correspondent recorded a similar conversation in a bar via usage of a parabolic microphone while hiding in a darkened booth in the back of the bar. (He was there for business purposes only, darn it! But supposedly they have the best bootlegged scotch you will ever taste! Unless of course you are morman. Then you suck.)
Although the conversation recorded was between two grown men unrelated to Hoge, it demonstrates the types of things that he could have learned while growing up. It is awful that BYU even gave this child a first chance. It represents their holier-than-thou attitude and the failures of their supposed "honor-code." According to an anonymous BYU student named Mavenleigh Drouthright, she once saw a boy that looked like Beau Hoge eating a single scoop ice cream cone in the Wilkinson Student Center. "He just looked like a creeper. Definitely not someone I would ever want to be friends with. And who orders a single scoop of Creamery ice cream? Something must be wrong with the guy." Although this is irrelevant to our story, you have now read this far and I have generated the required clicks for the day.
Telephone call and emails to Beau's third cousin asking for comment were not returned. Probably because he was out mugging someone.
Watch for the second installment in this 52 part story: "VIDEO: BYU former assistant women's golf coach drinks full red can Coke before secret morman ban on caffeine is lifted."
*Due to an ongoing commitment to professionalism, the Tribune has omitted any language deemed to be offensive to out readership. BYU is a bunch of morman lossers though and we are proud to proclaim it.