Mr. Merge-too-early-on-the-zipper got his comeuppance today.
Stuck in really bad traffic in two mile-long lanes that merge down to one at the end. We were still 30 yards from the merge point, bumper to bumper, just creeping along. Left lane merges to the right and I'm in the left lane. Jeep to my right decides it's time to merge left and claim his rightful spot. So he forces his bumper into the small gap in front of me. I know how this works and he has the upper hand. I know his intention is to then drive down the dotted line for the next 30 yards blocking both lanes behind him all the way to the merge point. I call it and I force his hand by pulling up as close as I can as if I still have a chance to keep him out. He overcommits into the left lane and cars start passing him on the right. At this point he is enraged and starts honking but the battle is already lost and I am cackling mouth wide open in his rear-view.
Of course all of this is pointless because we are all already 20 minutes late from the accident that caused this bumper to bumper traffic, so what's 30 seconds going to change from getting merged first so I really don't care that I'm losing ground. What pisses me off is that he is causing more traffic problems by blocking off precious lane space in an already crowded area.
Anyway some schadenfreude sunshine to start my day.