You're overreacting

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Feb 13, 2018
9:26:47pm

Orem58thBall Redshirt Freshman

You're overreacting

Its certainly something for the parents to take seriously. Her parents bringing it to the attention of the school and the boys' parents, and maybe holding a private meeting would be appropriate.
Giving the school, the other parents, and your nieces peers the impression that she lawyered up over an inappropriate juvenile conversation will just escalate the situatuon and probably make trouble for her.

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Orem58thBall

Previous username: HowardH
Bio page: Orem58thBall
Joined: Mar 3, 2011
Last login: Apr 22, 2024
Total posts: 1,632 (0 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

My 11 yo niece is in 8 grade math. Boys were comparing “size” in a small group

2/13/18 11:43am

11 yo in 8th grade?

2/13/18 11:45am

She’s in 6th grade but is in 8th grade math

2/13/18 11:46am

We’ve seen this issue playing kids up in sports. Something many don’t think

cougfanz

2/13/18 11:46am

You're saying they were just whipping it out in the middle of class?

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:46am

No, they were providing details about measurements

2/13/18 11:47am

Ok.. So you're getting involved why?

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:48am

Yeah I don’t understand what’s going on here.

2/13/18 11:48am

An 11 year old at school?

2/13/18 11:49am

Do you even remember jr high?

2/13/18 11:50am

<< Deleted >>

JAGA97

2/13/18 11:53am

Yeah, I'm siding with the Ute on this one

Carnac

2/13/18 11:52am

I'm not. Even though I agree. I've got principles.

panguitch

2/13/18 12:34pm

if her parents don't like it, they should home school. welcome to jr high.

smokymountainrain

2/13/18 11:56am

Uncle should stop involving himself as her parent

2/13/18 12:05pm

That’s the risk her parents take letting her go to class with 8th graders.

2/13/18 2:26pm

you guys are being ridiculous. nobody signs their 11yo up to hear boys talk

MormonThug

2/14/18 7:30am

I think we need more details. You sound like the weirdo jerk in this. Some

Byron McNertney

2/13/18 11:47am

She didn’t eavesdrop. She was included in the group.

2/13/18 11:49am

They’re all kids. I’d be careful that you’re not the one who ends up in trouble.

messi

2/13/18 11:50am

So she was included in the group, was the conversation started while she was there or did she join thr group after

Baron

2/13/18 11:53am

It was directed at her. It was two boys and her.

2/13/18 12:00pm

Okay, but as I state below, writing a letter to make them afraid will make it worse for your niece. Talk to the school

Baron

2/13/18 12:01pm

All you need to do is tell her those kids are idiots

buffgato

2/13/18 12:02pm

"mocking the other boy, but that was a separate problem." lol. dude, did you,

smokymountainrain

2/13/18 12:03pm

I did but there was no reason to mock me for this, believe me

2/13/18 5:38pm

sexual 'harassment'

Dissenter

2/13/18 1:04pm

Just be prepared for them to potentially laugh at you.

Ojiisan

2/13/18 11:48am

So you are about to get into a measuring contest with some 11-year olds?

kccougar

2/13/18 11:50am

You think it’s okay for 14 year old boys to have that convo with 11yo girl?

2/13/18 11:50am

Do I think it's normal for 14-yr old boys to have a discussion about sex? Yes.

kccougar

2/13/18 11:54am

It’s not criminal but it is sexual harrassment

2/13/18 11:57am

Did she tell them she wasn't comfortable with the conversation? Or tell the

molodyets

2/13/18 11:59am

She’s telling the teacher today

2/13/18 12:09pm

And what makes it worse is when her uncle gets involved trying to be her

molodyets

2/13/18 12:28pm

This. Really bad idea. You're not helping.

Orem58thBall

2/13/18 8:59pm

That’s where it should end. Let her tell the teacher and have the

Mathew

2/13/18 2:32pm

If someone has a "dirty conversation" is it always considered sexual harassment

2/13/18 4:38pm

In this context the legal elements are:

2/13/18 4:49pm

It’s locker room talk, I heard that somewhere.

Cougtruth

2/14/18 12:31pm

Also she was assigned, didn’t have a choice to hang with them

2/13/18 11:58am

Assigned to the class? Or assigned to the be in the conversation...

conetah

2/14/18 7:31am

With her? Or she overheard?

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 11:58am

It was 3 people in a group project and she was assigned to the group

2/13/18 12:03pm

yeah, that's inappropriate

libertycoug

2/13/18 4:07pm

Is this any different than if some 13/14 year old girls

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:58am

Probably depends on context

2/13/18 12:36pm

My money is on the 11yr old.

2/14/18 1:30pm

<< Deleted >>

Buffalo

2/13/18 11:50am

RE: Why would an uncle get involved in this?

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:56am

You are going to sue the kids for talking about genitals among each other?

cougarnerd

2/13/18 11:50am

No I am not going to sue

2/13/18 11:52am

What's your plan?

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:56am

Flex on some 11 yr olds

TPcoug

2/13/18 3:32pm

You should just teach her a hilarious burn for next time it comes up. I'm sure we can help.

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:51am

She’s 11 with 14 year olds.

2/13/18 11:51am

We all get that. Not appropriate talk for sure but you're not going to help this situation.

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:53am

Exactly. What they did was inappropriate. Pulling the "I'm a lawyer!" card is

Byron McNertney

2/13/18 11:55am

And will make her a target.

messi

2/13/18 11:58am

Unfortunately, yes it will. Venetian should stay out of it for this reason.

Coach's Dad

2/13/18 12:06pm

What the girl needs, if anything, is coaching on how to handle it herself

buffgato

2/13/18 12:11pm

False

libertycoug

2/13/18 4:10pm

Would it have been ok if she was also fourteen?

Cougtruth

2/14/18 12:33pm

So this conversation may be inappropriate, but what are you going to threaten here? Can they not

Baron

2/13/18 11:51am

Leave the kids alone. They’ve done nothing wrong or illegal and they didn’t

nashty

2/13/18 11:52am

They've done nothing wrong? Ummm..I don't think that's really true. Have they

Iman23

2/13/18 11:54am

It’s pretty clearly sexual harassment

2/13/18 11:55am

Ok, that makes it worse. No one is going to be impressed by your letterhead though. I'd go talk to the principal

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:56am

This is clearly the right answer

BoiseBlue

2/13/18 11:59am

And maybe it should be the girl's parents, not uncle doing the talking.

TheWanderer

2/13/18 12:00pm

Maybe. This just barely happened. I’m being reactionary

2/13/18 12:05pm

hopefully you recognize HOW much you're overreacting before you actually do something.

jdub

2/13/18 12:09pm

How can you scare them?

TaiJuan

2/13/18 11:56am

Well that detail definitely makes your reaction make a little more sense.

2/13/18 11:57am

Um no. No it’s not “clearly” sexual harassment

nashty

2/13/18 11:58am

It’s sexual in nature and creates an offensive learning environment

2/13/18 12:06pm

Thank you, recently graduated law student.

kccougar

2/13/18 12:42pm

Groan, I’ve been practicing for a long time

2/13/18 12:55pm

RE: Groan, I’ve been practicing for a long time

YardTime

2/13/18 1:20pm

As I said there and here, CA doesn’t have reciprocity

2/13/18 1:21pm

Yet! It’s coming.

reagan21

2/13/18 5:35pm

That's even worse.

kccougar

2/13/18 1:33pm

You will probably make it worse for your niece. Kids are smart.

SLC-Warrior

2/13/18 12:00pm

Okay, they said some horrible things that are arguably sexual harassment. Now you sending a letter to scare them

Baron

2/13/18 12:00pm

Bingo

buffgato

2/13/18 12:06pm

I agree with you. It will be a much more valuable lesson coming this way than later on getting real legal processes

Zenoch

2/13/18 12:07pm

Lolololol

2/13/18 12:08pm

Is she aware that boys have a penis? We should start there

pink22

2/13/18 12:22pm

Plus, you are her uncle. Not her father. His decision.

conetah

2/14/18 7:33am

as long as they're in the country legally, I agree.

Belboz

2/15/18 3:39pm

seriously?

coltonbyu

2/15/18 5:02pm

Only a good idea if your goal is to make things worse

Ulysses14

2/13/18 11:53am

So what was the math problem? Making math relatable is very important.

JAGA97

2/13/18 11:54am

Trying to figure out your angle on this thing

buffgato

2/13/18 11:56am

Are her parents unable to handle the situation for some reason?

2/13/18 11:57am

They're not lawyers

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:59am

This confuses me too. Sounds like at most

JuicyJam

2/13/18 12:00pm

We're you present in the conversation, or is this being relayed by 11 yo?

2/13/18 11:59am

<< Deleted >>

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 11:59am

I imagine your conversation with the boys would go like this:

2/13/18 11:59am

lawyer uncle has no reason to be involved, thats just plain dumb.

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:01pm

One of my fav things about CB is when someone doubles down on a wrong opinion

TCuz

2/13/18 12:02pm

I was in the process of writing this exact post and then changed my mind.

DOC

2/13/18 12:05pm

link to that one? sounds great

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:15pm

Please, for CB lore purposes, don't delete this thread.

TCuz

2/13/18 12:15pm

To be fair, I didn’t double down on my reaction

2/13/18 12:33pm

They're middle school boys. It happens every day.

Dissenter

2/13/18 1:10pm

Busy bodies gotta be busy

2/13/18 12:04pm

Let's measure how tiny of a problem this is, and how HUGE of an anal-minded

TeeKaa

2/13/18 12:06pm

I back you 100% as long as you have never done anything similar in your youth.

Mister P

2/13/18 12:07pm

BTW, have you discussed your plan with your niece?

Mister P

2/13/18 12:09pm

And this is why boy/girl scouts is dead.

JAGA97

2/13/18 12:09pm

BUT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BILL ELEVEN BILLION DOLLARS FOR YOUR AMAZING FIRM!

2/13/18 12:09pm

You’re not even really a lawyer yet

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 12:10pm

I’m licensed in multiple states.

2/13/18 12:11pm

Multiple states? Is that a size comparison?

jdub

2/13/18 12:14pm

Taking multiple bar exams is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done

2/13/18 1:23pm

Ok. But you’re brand new. And it shows.

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 12:15pm

I’m an angry family member who got fired up

2/13/18 12:33pm

Sounds like you need to run all your decisions through CB beforehand from now on

cougarnerd

2/13/18 12:38pm

good idea. Maybe he can give us a cut. We can be his preliminary counsil

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:39pm

And boom goes the dynamite

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 12:12pm

The last line of that post is the most telling

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 12:13pm

No question

2/13/18 12:36pm

Funny but he is.

JuicyJam

2/13/18 12:13pm

Maybe more damning that he's considering this. Smh.

2/13/18 12:14pm

It seems like those boys aren't the only ones comparing their manhood. Somebody

4mack

2/13/18 12:13pm

I’m really not. Just got pissed

2/13/18 12:34pm

we all get protective, and i respect the amount you care for your niece

4mack

2/13/18 12:42pm

I actually have an eighth grade boy. If he were doing this I’d be mortified and would address it ASAP. But if you

SJS

2/13/18 12:39pm

Sorry, meant for OP.

SJS

2/13/18 12:40pm

You can move posts meant to be under the OP.

Referee

2/13/18 7:22pm

RE: You can move posts meant to be under the OP.

SJS

2/13/18 7:50pm

FWIW, I would never confront a kid, ever.

2/13/18 12:53pm

Yes, and I would take that letter straight to your state bar association

SJS

2/13/18 1:14pm

Probably not worth a discussion. We’ll agree is over the top

2/13/18 1:21pm

I absolutely hate to agree with some of the individuals replying to you....

CoachSpeak

2/13/18 12:12pm

<< Deleted >>

jdub

2/13/18 12:13pm

Keep at it. This could become a new practice area for you. "Think your classmate

vegasnative

2/13/18 12:21pm

Ooh, a lawyer. SpoooooOOOOooooooky. I'd love to get a dumb phone call like that. It'd make my month.

shimmy

2/13/18 12:23pm

Your poor niece is going to get unmercilessly teased if you do this.

Manti

2/13/18 12:32pm

What the fruit does lawyer have to do with it? As if that's supposed to

2/13/18 12:35pm

First time I've seen "fruit" as a curse word replacement. I respect it.

2/13/18 1:27pm

You are the type that gets up and walks out of movies or goes to a party and

pink22

2/13/18 12:55pm

totally wrong in all respects.

2/13/18 12:58pm

I like how you manage to drop the fact that you're a lawyer into so many

benny1982

2/13/18 1:07pm

Unfortunately it’s a rather large part of my life

2/13/18 1:12pm

There are a ton of lawyers on here who never, or at least rarely, mention

benny1982

2/13/18 1:19pm

I don't even know where to start with this post.

Nagurski

2/13/18 1:12pm

Don’t, it’s run it’s course

2/13/18 1:23pm

I don't think this was the outcome you were expecting...

hadmonster

2/13/18 1:28pm

lol it's all good and correct.

2/13/18 1:32pm

I agree. After reading some of your responses to some pretty inflammatory posts

Nagurski

2/13/18 1:31pm

Sounds like a "New Math" problem they were discussing/calculating.

Magic8Ball

2/13/18 1:24pm

Centimeters compared to millimeters

Mathew

2/13/18 2:36pm

Lame

WizeGuise

2/13/18 2:02pm

You're going to make her situation so much worse. Sounds like a better opportunity to teach your niece the types of

Pimpin4Paradise

2/13/18 2:11pm

Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only cheapens it for real victims.

Pimpin4Paradise

2/13/18 2:13pm

RE: Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only

2/13/18 2:14pm

RE: Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only

coltonbyu

2/13/18 2:18pm

I would stay far way from this. I could see this backfiring on you...

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 3:54pm

Heck yes. Go for it. Write a lengthy threatening letter with lots of legalese

2/13/18 3:58pm

Well I’m sure that didn’t quite go like you expected.

UNLVcougar

2/13/18 5:18pm

Nope

2/13/18 6:49pm

With respect to my overreaction, well deserved.

2/13/18 9:13pm

I am shocked at how many men and fathers on this thread are okay with older

demon_llama

2/13/18 7:43pm

RE: I am shocked at how many men and fathers on this thread are okay with older

Delicate Genius

2/13/18 7:56pm

you prove my point.

demon_llama

2/13/18 8:10pm

I get people who think I overreacted, I don’t get minimizing the behavior

2/13/18 8:13pm

Links to people who think this behavior is OK?

SJS

2/13/18 8:17pm

Those weren’t my words. I said “minimizing” and there are plenty.

2/13/18 9:09pm

Slow down. They're all minors.

Mister P

2/13/18 8:16pm

Show me one person who was okay with it. Seriously. Show me one.

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 8:40pm

Here are several:

2/13/18 9:06pm

None of them are saying they're okay with it...

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 9:19pm

I don’t want to speak for others

2/13/18 9:25pm

You're overreacting

Orem58thBall

2/13/18 9:26pm

I really don't think anyone that isn't trolling believes the boys' behavior

hadmonster

2/14/18 7:48am

Hold, bro. They're all under 14. Yes, it should be dealt with, but not in a way

mantis mutu

2/15/18 4:50pm

<< Deleted >>

trjohnson007

2/14/18 12:20am

Why is this posted on Cougarboard?

andrewg3

2/14/18 12:03pm

Geeze folks, threatening a law suit on 8th graders for an event that happened at

The Old Y

2/14/18 12:05pm

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