Hold, bro. They're all under 14. Yes, it should be dealt with, but not in a way

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Feb 15, 2018
4:50:41pm

mantis mutu All-American

Hold, bro. They're all under 14. Yes, it should be dealt with, but not in a way

that destroys the boys' lives. Or heaps an unreasonable amount of humiliation upon them.

They live in a society where explicit sex-talk happens ALL the time--so as long as no one's been physically hurt or humiliated, it's probably best that their discipline is relatively light. With ample warning & threat not to let it happen again.

mutu.

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mantis mutu

Bio page: mantis mutu
Joined: Jul 4, 2005
Last login: May 17, 2018
Total posts: 36,378 (883 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

My 11 yo niece is in 8 grade math. Boys were comparing “size” in a small group

2/13/18 11:43am

11 yo in 8th grade?

2/13/18 11:45am

She’s in 6th grade but is in 8th grade math

2/13/18 11:46am

We’ve seen this issue playing kids up in sports. Something many don’t think

cougfanz

2/13/18 11:46am

You're saying they were just whipping it out in the middle of class?

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:46am

No, they were providing details about measurements

2/13/18 11:47am

Ok.. So you're getting involved why?

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:48am

Yeah I don’t understand what’s going on here.

2/13/18 11:48am

An 11 year old at school?

2/13/18 11:49am

Do you even remember jr high?

2/13/18 11:50am

<< Deleted >>

JAGA97

2/13/18 11:53am

Yeah, I'm siding with the Ute on this one

Carnac

2/13/18 11:52am

I'm not. Even though I agree. I've got principles.

panguitch

2/13/18 12:34pm

if her parents don't like it, they should home school. welcome to jr high.

smokymountainrain

2/13/18 11:56am

Uncle should stop involving himself as her parent

2/13/18 12:05pm

That’s the risk her parents take letting her go to class with 8th graders.

2/13/18 2:26pm

you guys are being ridiculous. nobody signs their 11yo up to hear boys talk

MormonThug

2/14/18 7:30am

I think we need more details. You sound like the weirdo jerk in this. Some

Byron McNertney

2/13/18 11:47am

She didn’t eavesdrop. She was included in the group.

2/13/18 11:49am

They’re all kids. I’d be careful that you’re not the one who ends up in trouble.

messi

2/13/18 11:50am

So she was included in the group, was the conversation started while she was there or did she join thr group after

Baron

2/13/18 11:53am

It was directed at her. It was two boys and her.

2/13/18 12:00pm

Okay, but as I state below, writing a letter to make them afraid will make it worse for your niece. Talk to the school

Baron

2/13/18 12:01pm

All you need to do is tell her those kids are idiots

buffgato

2/13/18 12:02pm

"mocking the other boy, but that was a separate problem." lol. dude, did you,

smokymountainrain

2/13/18 12:03pm

I did but there was no reason to mock me for this, believe me

2/13/18 5:38pm

sexual 'harassment'

Dissenter

2/13/18 1:04pm

Just be prepared for them to potentially laugh at you.

Ojiisan

2/13/18 11:48am

So you are about to get into a measuring contest with some 11-year olds?

kccougar

2/13/18 11:50am

You think it’s okay for 14 year old boys to have that convo with 11yo girl?

2/13/18 11:50am

Do I think it's normal for 14-yr old boys to have a discussion about sex? Yes.

kccougar

2/13/18 11:54am

It’s not criminal but it is sexual harrassment

2/13/18 11:57am

Did she tell them she wasn't comfortable with the conversation? Or tell the

molodyets

2/13/18 11:59am

She’s telling the teacher today

2/13/18 12:09pm

And what makes it worse is when her uncle gets involved trying to be her

molodyets

2/13/18 12:28pm

This. Really bad idea. You're not helping.

Orem58thBall

2/13/18 8:59pm

That’s where it should end. Let her tell the teacher and have the

Mathew

2/13/18 2:32pm

If someone has a "dirty conversation" is it always considered sexual harassment

2/13/18 4:38pm

In this context the legal elements are:

2/13/18 4:49pm

It’s locker room talk, I heard that somewhere.

Cougtruth

2/14/18 12:31pm

Also she was assigned, didn’t have a choice to hang with them

2/13/18 11:58am

Assigned to the class? Or assigned to the be in the conversation...

conetah

2/14/18 7:31am

With her? Or she overheard?

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 11:58am

It was 3 people in a group project and she was assigned to the group

2/13/18 12:03pm

yeah, that's inappropriate

libertycoug

2/13/18 4:07pm

Is this any different than if some 13/14 year old girls

JuicyJam

2/13/18 11:58am

Probably depends on context

2/13/18 12:36pm

My money is on the 11yr old.

2/14/18 1:30pm

<< Deleted >>

Buffalo

2/13/18 11:50am

RE: Why would an uncle get involved in this?

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:56am

You are going to sue the kids for talking about genitals among each other?

cougarnerd

2/13/18 11:50am

No I am not going to sue

2/13/18 11:52am

What's your plan?

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:56am

Flex on some 11 yr olds

TPcoug

2/13/18 3:32pm

You should just teach her a hilarious burn for next time it comes up. I'm sure we can help.

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:51am

She’s 11 with 14 year olds.

2/13/18 11:51am

We all get that. Not appropriate talk for sure but you're not going to help this situation.

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:53am

Exactly. What they did was inappropriate. Pulling the "I'm a lawyer!" card is

Byron McNertney

2/13/18 11:55am

And will make her a target.

messi

2/13/18 11:58am

Unfortunately, yes it will. Venetian should stay out of it for this reason.

Coach's Dad

2/13/18 12:06pm

What the girl needs, if anything, is coaching on how to handle it herself

buffgato

2/13/18 12:11pm

False

libertycoug

2/13/18 4:10pm

Would it have been ok if she was also fourteen?

Cougtruth

2/14/18 12:33pm

So this conversation may be inappropriate, but what are you going to threaten here? Can they not

Baron

2/13/18 11:51am

Leave the kids alone. They’ve done nothing wrong or illegal and they didn’t

nashty

2/13/18 11:52am

They've done nothing wrong? Ummm..I don't think that's really true. Have they

Iman23

2/13/18 11:54am

It’s pretty clearly sexual harassment

2/13/18 11:55am

Ok, that makes it worse. No one is going to be impressed by your letterhead though. I'd go talk to the principal

Dillinger

2/13/18 11:56am

This is clearly the right answer

BoiseBlue

2/13/18 11:59am

And maybe it should be the girl's parents, not uncle doing the talking.

TheWanderer

2/13/18 12:00pm

Maybe. This just barely happened. I’m being reactionary

2/13/18 12:05pm

hopefully you recognize HOW much you're overreacting before you actually do something.

jdub

2/13/18 12:09pm

How can you scare them?

TaiJuan

2/13/18 11:56am

Well that detail definitely makes your reaction make a little more sense.

2/13/18 11:57am

Um no. No it’s not “clearly” sexual harassment

nashty

2/13/18 11:58am

It’s sexual in nature and creates an offensive learning environment

2/13/18 12:06pm

Thank you, recently graduated law student.

kccougar

2/13/18 12:42pm

Groan, I’ve been practicing for a long time

2/13/18 12:55pm

RE: Groan, I’ve been practicing for a long time

YardTime

2/13/18 1:20pm

As I said there and here, CA doesn’t have reciprocity

2/13/18 1:21pm

Yet! It’s coming.

reagan21

2/13/18 5:35pm

That's even worse.

kccougar

2/13/18 1:33pm

You will probably make it worse for your niece. Kids are smart.

SLC-Warrior

2/13/18 12:00pm

Okay, they said some horrible things that are arguably sexual harassment. Now you sending a letter to scare them

Baron

2/13/18 12:00pm

Bingo

buffgato

2/13/18 12:06pm

I agree with you. It will be a much more valuable lesson coming this way than later on getting real legal processes

Zenoch

2/13/18 12:07pm

Lolololol

2/13/18 12:08pm

Is she aware that boys have a penis? We should start there

pink22

2/13/18 12:22pm

Plus, you are her uncle. Not her father. His decision.

conetah

2/14/18 7:33am

as long as they're in the country legally, I agree.

Belboz

2/15/18 3:39pm

seriously?

coltonbyu

2/15/18 5:02pm

Only a good idea if your goal is to make things worse

Ulysses14

2/13/18 11:53am

So what was the math problem? Making math relatable is very important.

JAGA97

2/13/18 11:54am

Trying to figure out your angle on this thing

buffgato

2/13/18 11:56am

Are her parents unable to handle the situation for some reason?

2/13/18 11:57am

They're not lawyers

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 11:59am

This confuses me too. Sounds like at most

JuicyJam

2/13/18 12:00pm

We're you present in the conversation, or is this being relayed by 11 yo?

2/13/18 11:59am

<< Deleted >>

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 11:59am

I imagine your conversation with the boys would go like this:

2/13/18 11:59am

lawyer uncle has no reason to be involved, thats just plain dumb.

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:01pm

One of my fav things about CB is when someone doubles down on a wrong opinion

TCuz

2/13/18 12:02pm

I was in the process of writing this exact post and then changed my mind.

DOC

2/13/18 12:05pm

link to that one? sounds great

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:15pm

Please, for CB lore purposes, don't delete this thread.

TCuz

2/13/18 12:15pm

To be fair, I didn’t double down on my reaction

2/13/18 12:33pm

They're middle school boys. It happens every day.

Dissenter

2/13/18 1:10pm

Busy bodies gotta be busy

2/13/18 12:04pm

Let's measure how tiny of a problem this is, and how HUGE of an anal-minded

TeeKaa

2/13/18 12:06pm

I back you 100% as long as you have never done anything similar in your youth.

Mister P

2/13/18 12:07pm

BTW, have you discussed your plan with your niece?

Mister P

2/13/18 12:09pm

And this is why boy/girl scouts is dead.

JAGA97

2/13/18 12:09pm

BUT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BILL ELEVEN BILLION DOLLARS FOR YOUR AMAZING FIRM!

2/13/18 12:09pm

You’re not even really a lawyer yet

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 12:10pm

I’m licensed in multiple states.

2/13/18 12:11pm

Multiple states? Is that a size comparison?

jdub

2/13/18 12:14pm

Taking multiple bar exams is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done

2/13/18 1:23pm

Ok. But you’re brand new. And it shows.

Mr. Belding

2/13/18 12:15pm

I’m an angry family member who got fired up

2/13/18 12:33pm

Sounds like you need to run all your decisions through CB beforehand from now on

cougarnerd

2/13/18 12:38pm

good idea. Maybe he can give us a cut. We can be his preliminary counsil

coltonbyu

2/13/18 12:39pm

And boom goes the dynamite

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 12:12pm

The last line of that post is the most telling

Fetchin Fetcher

2/13/18 12:13pm

No question

2/13/18 12:36pm

Funny but he is.

JuicyJam

2/13/18 12:13pm

Maybe more damning that he's considering this. Smh.

2/13/18 12:14pm

It seems like those boys aren't the only ones comparing their manhood. Somebody

4mack

2/13/18 12:13pm

I’m really not. Just got pissed

2/13/18 12:34pm

we all get protective, and i respect the amount you care for your niece

4mack

2/13/18 12:42pm

I actually have an eighth grade boy. If he were doing this I’d be mortified and would address it ASAP. But if you

SJS

2/13/18 12:39pm

Sorry, meant for OP.

SJS

2/13/18 12:40pm

You can move posts meant to be under the OP.

Referee

2/13/18 7:22pm

RE: You can move posts meant to be under the OP.

SJS

2/13/18 7:50pm

FWIW, I would never confront a kid, ever.

2/13/18 12:53pm

Yes, and I would take that letter straight to your state bar association

SJS

2/13/18 1:14pm

Probably not worth a discussion. We’ll agree is over the top

2/13/18 1:21pm

I absolutely hate to agree with some of the individuals replying to you....

CoachSpeak

2/13/18 12:12pm

<< Deleted >>

jdub

2/13/18 12:13pm

Keep at it. This could become a new practice area for you. "Think your classmate

vegasnative

2/13/18 12:21pm

Ooh, a lawyer. SpoooooOOOOooooooky. I'd love to get a dumb phone call like that. It'd make my month.

shimmy

2/13/18 12:23pm

Your poor niece is going to get unmercilessly teased if you do this.

Manti

2/13/18 12:32pm

What the fruit does lawyer have to do with it? As if that's supposed to

2/13/18 12:35pm

First time I've seen "fruit" as a curse word replacement. I respect it.

2/13/18 1:27pm

You are the type that gets up and walks out of movies or goes to a party and

pink22

2/13/18 12:55pm

totally wrong in all respects.

2/13/18 12:58pm

I like how you manage to drop the fact that you're a lawyer into so many

benny1982

2/13/18 1:07pm

Unfortunately it’s a rather large part of my life

2/13/18 1:12pm

There are a ton of lawyers on here who never, or at least rarely, mention

benny1982

2/13/18 1:19pm

I don't even know where to start with this post.

Nagurski

2/13/18 1:12pm

Don’t, it’s run it’s course

2/13/18 1:23pm

I don't think this was the outcome you were expecting...

hadmonster

2/13/18 1:28pm

lol it's all good and correct.

2/13/18 1:32pm

I agree. After reading some of your responses to some pretty inflammatory posts

Nagurski

2/13/18 1:31pm

Sounds like a "New Math" problem they were discussing/calculating.

Magic8Ball

2/13/18 1:24pm

Centimeters compared to millimeters

Mathew

2/13/18 2:36pm

Lame

WizeGuise

2/13/18 2:02pm

You're going to make her situation so much worse. Sounds like a better opportunity to teach your niece the types of

Pimpin4Paradise

2/13/18 2:11pm

Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only cheapens it for real victims.

Pimpin4Paradise

2/13/18 2:13pm

RE: Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only

2/13/18 2:14pm

RE: Also, you crying sexual harassment over something as dumb as this only

coltonbyu

2/13/18 2:18pm

I would stay far way from this. I could see this backfiring on you...

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 3:54pm

Heck yes. Go for it. Write a lengthy threatening letter with lots of legalese

2/13/18 3:58pm

Well I’m sure that didn’t quite go like you expected.

UNLVcougar

2/13/18 5:18pm

Nope

2/13/18 6:49pm

With respect to my overreaction, well deserved.

2/13/18 9:13pm

I am shocked at how many men and fathers on this thread are okay with older

demon_llama

2/13/18 7:43pm

RE: I am shocked at how many men and fathers on this thread are okay with older

Delicate Genius

2/13/18 7:56pm

you prove my point.

demon_llama

2/13/18 8:10pm

I get people who think I overreacted, I don’t get minimizing the behavior

2/13/18 8:13pm

Links to people who think this behavior is OK?

SJS

2/13/18 8:17pm

Those weren’t my words. I said “minimizing” and there are plenty.

2/13/18 9:09pm

Slow down. They're all minors.

Mister P

2/13/18 8:16pm

Show me one person who was okay with it. Seriously. Show me one.

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 8:40pm

Here are several:

2/13/18 9:06pm

None of them are saying they're okay with it...

Alister Mackenzie

2/13/18 9:19pm

I don’t want to speak for others

2/13/18 9:25pm

You're overreacting

Orem58thBall

2/13/18 9:26pm

I really don't think anyone that isn't trolling believes the boys' behavior

hadmonster

2/14/18 7:48am

Hold, bro. They're all under 14. Yes, it should be dealt with, but not in a way

mantis mutu

2/15/18 4:50pm

<< Deleted >>

trjohnson007

2/14/18 12:20am

Why is this posted on Cougarboard?

andrewg3

2/14/18 12:03pm

Geeze folks, threatening a law suit on 8th graders for an event that happened at

The Old Y

2/14/18 12:05pm

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