She's an AMAZING woman. Gorgeous, smart, compassionate, generous, and hilarious. She's been the Primary President for four years- and the kids adore her... but I just committed a cardinal sin (in her eyes).

Despite being AMAZING, there are two things that really infuriate her:
• Being cold
• Being woken up

(She also hates racists, and bullies, and kids being abused- stuff like that. But you know...)

Anyway... I just woke up, and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge- although it had been in the freezer earlier tonight- so it was very cold. Uh, I did not realize that the bottle had a small hole in it. I got into bed, I removed the cap, I pulled the bottle to my mouth- and squeezed it.

It was like a Super Soaker! Before I could stop it, I heard a gasp- and then a stream of profanity. I rushed to grab a towel, and quickly got her a new shirt to wear. I apologized profusely. I thought it was all good. I gave her a kiss. And said goodnight. She reciprocated.

But then, she turned over, and I heard what sounded like the deep growl of a thousand pound grizzly bear. My wife is 5'1", 110 lbs. I would not have thought it possible for such a petite woman to make such a deep, guttural sound.

And so, my friends. I'm just asking you to watch the news the next few days. If a guy gets mysteriously murdered in his sleep- it was me, your CB friend. IF they interview my wife, and she doesn't seem super sad- call the cops. If she seems sad... I don't know- follow the Spirit. 😏🙄