Started out with a sore throat and lost my voice for a whole day (had this barely audile raspy voice that sounded like I'd been smoking 6 packs of cigarettes a day for 30 years).

The next day, my right eye became very itchy, red, swollen, and watery. The day after that, the same thing happened to my left eye.

In the meantime, I have a raspy cough and it feels as if my entire respiratory system is lined with about an inch of mucous.

It's been going on for several days now and I don't feel anywhere close to being over it (at this point, I almost wouldn't be surprised if an alien suddenly popped out of my stomach).