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Jul 14, 2019
8:15:59am
CougarThug Playmaker
My cousin's FB post on slowly losing her mother, my favorite aunt
"I know so many of us are parents. And, there’s an inherent understanding that we all have...we look at each other and we ‘get’ it. If I tell an anecdote of something my kid did in a room full of people, there is a high likelihood that a majority of the crowd will start nodding in appreciation and total camaraderie. It’s TOUGH being a mom or dad. And, it’s nice that most of the rest of the world understands that as well.

But...I have discovered an even harder position to be in. It’s discouraging and frustrating and scary and sobbingly painful. And—I must admit, this one (if you can believe it) is harder than being a parent.

It’s watching your OWN parent fall. In health. In ability. In cognition.

My mom had multiple strokes last September, has had surgeries and heart procedures and doctor appointments galore. ER visits. ICU. Diabetes issues. She’s gone from a wheelchair to walking to a walker to a wheelchair again. She was in a nursing home and then assisted living and then talked of ‘going home.’

And, then, on Friday, I moved her to another full-skill nursing home. She’s not there to ‘get better.’ She won’t ‘recuperate.’ She’s not ‘going home.’ I know it. And, more devastatingly, she knows it.

I have watched my mother go from being completely independent—traveling EVERY year to multiple countries and continents on her own, driving herself alone across our country, taking full responsibility for finances, medical issues, daily life stuff like taxes and home repairs and bank accounts—

To needing help getting dressed. To needing assistance to shower. To being terrified of going to sleep at night. To knowing she can’t remember things but not understanding why. To having everything that she claims as her own become a couple of suitcases of clothes.

And...I gotta say—we aren’t prepared for this. As parents, we know that our children will grow up. We understand that they are in those early phases for a short time. They will become self-sufficient and their lives will diverge from ours.

But, to watch an entire life unravel to what it started out as? Unfathomable.

Maybe you think I have answers. I don’t. I have tears and heartache and depth of feeling that I didn’t know I was capable of.

Maybe the only thing I have to say is this: Go on and hug your babies and your toddlers and your teenagers.

Just don’t forget to hug your parents as well."
This message has been modified
Originally posted on Jul 14, 2019 at 8:15:59am
Message modified by CougarThug on Jul 14, 2019 at 8:16:23am
CougarThug
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