I usually did a good job looking after the Cambodian (my little brother, just a name, he's a gringo). Robintino's, Bountiful, 1979. My orders were to take the Cambodian to the bathroom, as the family milled around in the lobby waiting to be seated. I ran into trouble immediately.

A side by side gumball/hot tamale machine. Those machines always mesmerized me, nay, hyp-mo-tized me. His pleas had no effect on me. "Matty, hurry, I gotta go, i gotta go." He was probably 3 y o. "Go on, I'll be there. Yer a big boy, you can do it." I lost all track of time. Next thing I remember, uproarious laughter in the lobby.

I look up, see the Cambodian waddling full speed towards the lobby, pants & butthuggers around his ankles. Little butt just truckin towards Mommy. I catch up to him, try and block him from going forward, and from view of the masses. He does the equivalent of a wicked crossover move and sails right past. Stopping in the middle of the lobby, it parted like the Red Sea. I'll never forget my Mom's face. Terror. My Dad was stifling laughter. '

It goes dead silent. The Cambodian breaks it w/ "Mooooooom, they're all lookin at my weiner. Whyyyy are they looking at my weiner?" As the laughter erupts again, my Dad says, because it's there son. Flopping in the open air, lets cover you up."

Needless to say, the parents weren't impressed w/ my babysitting skills in that moment. Everytime I see one of those candy machines, it's bring a smile to my face. To this very day.