I have a close personal friend, who I know in real life, and not on an anonymous internet message board. His job
is to save people's lives. Each day that he goes to work he toils away saving people who otherwise might not make it, blessing others and bringing fulfillment and joy to thousands. For doing that job, he is paid many, many, many monies (I don't know anything about monies, but whatever the numbers are of those monies, it is a lot. They probably have to use an armored truck to deliver his monies each month to him).
He has an actual hot wife, not an HCBW, and when he isn't working saving people's lives he is frolicking on the beach with that hot wife and his amazing children. He can eat anything he wants to eat whenever he wants to eat it and he still doesn't have a dad bod. In fact, he is ripped. He is often hit on by women at his work, because of the prior sentence and because of the last sentence of my previous paragraph. But he ignores those hitting on him because of the first sentence of this paragraph.
He spends most of his time talking to me complaining about how much he hates his job and by extension, his life. When he isn't complaining about his job, he often also complains about how badly his wife does in shot-put like sporting events that are often held in their front yard using woodland creatures instead of shot puts.
In order to help him realize how great his life is and stop complaining, what is the best way for me to nail him into a shipping box, send him to Mexico and assume his identity?