The lack of being able to remember something does not make it not cruel

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Jan 8, 2020
7:31:08pm

spugeddy24 The "Liberal" Mod

The lack of being able to remember something does not make it not cruel

The date rape drug makes so that the victim often can’t remember it. does that mean rape isn’t cruel.

Not saying that crying it out and rape are anywhere in the same ballpark. just pointing out that not being able to remember something does not change whether the act is kind or unkind, cruel or not cruel.

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Jan 8, 2020 at 7:31:08pm

Message modified by spugeddy24 on Jan 8, 2020 at 7:33:22pm

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spugeddy24

Bio page: spugeddy24
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Last login: Apr 24, 2024
Total posts: 78,359 (27,610 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Tonight we are starting “cry it out” to sleep train our 5-month old. 15 minutes in, and counting.

Virginia Ute Ute Troll

1/8/20 6:38pm

Cry it out isn’t real evidence based iirc

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:40pm

It's worked for many.

Cougarrr

1/8/20 6:41pm

Evidence based for what?

sgriff

1/8/20 6:41pm

In terms of being the most successful/beneficial, etc.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:43pm

It’s what we did with all our kids

IceBlueCoug

1/8/20 6:41pm

Plenty of parents do things that aren’t recommended. Spanking for example.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:42pm

It’s also not recommended to eat cookie dough but it’s freakin delicious

IceBlueCoug

1/8/20 7:20pm

Indeed

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:30pm

It is evidenced based for my sanity

1/8/20 6:43pm

Touché.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:43pm

The pediatrician in the book I read had a lot of good studies backing it.

1/8/20 6:44pm

It worked for me in a dog trial.

SuperTank

1/8/20 6:50pm

It's what my parents did with me and my siblings and we are all

Slim

1/8/20 6:51pm

Its cruel

Backcountry

1/8/20 6:56pm

Nah. The baby won't remember squat and will still love you in the morning

LiveCoug

1/8/20 6:58pm

I couldnt do it. I broke after like 30 minutes

Backcountry

1/8/20 7:00pm

Understood, but it ain't cruel to the baby.

LiveCoug

1/8/20 7:15pm

Debatable.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:19pm

Not really. The baby won't remember. Cry it out doesn't mean always ignoring

LiveCoug

1/8/20 7:21pm

The lack of being able to remember something does not make it not cruel

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:31pm

That may be the worst comparison in the history of CB. Letting a child cry it

Dread Pirate Westley

1/8/20 8:18pm

It’s crystal clear you didn’t actually read my post. Congrats man.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 8:39pm

I read every word of your post. It's a terrible take.

Dread Pirate Westley

1/8/20 8:45pm

I consider it cruel to not have your kids on a regular sleeping

Coach's Dad

1/8/20 7:39pm

Not being favor of “cry it out” doesn’t mean not teaching your kids to sleep

spugeddy24

1/8/20 8:40pm

That what doesn’t kill you....

1/8/20 7:00pm

Worked for all my kids. Research be darned

Adwight

1/8/20 7:12pm

That’s what anti-vax parents say

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:13pm

You think those two things are similar?

1/8/20 7:18pm

No. The ignoring research part is similar.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:20pm

There’s a big difference between getting my kid to sleep

Adwight

1/8/20 7:54pm

RE: There’s a big difference between getting my kid to sleep

1/8/20 8:31pm

Ugh. I hate having new borns in the house. I basically don’t like kids until they’re 1+.

sgriff

1/8/20 6:41pm

It’s our first one. I’d agree with ya so far.

1/8/20 6:45pm

To me it’s age 4-5. Not a fan below that age.

cougfanz

1/8/20 7:15pm

If they keep it up for longer than 10 minutes they’re not ready IMO.

MormonThug

1/8/20 6:43pm

Hang in there. First night is horrible. 2nd night is 90% better.

game.blouses

1/8/20 6:45pm

How long are we talking cry wise? My wife and I made bets on like 1-2 hours.

1/8/20 6:48pm

My three kids probably cried for a solid hour the first night, 30 minutes the...

RazorCoug

1/8/20 7:14pm

Looks like we got out with 45 minutes tonight.

1/8/20 7:39pm

Both my daughters were 45 minutes (ish) the first night.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:03pm

That makes feel reassured to hear. Hopefully our kid isn’t some stubborn child who breaks the mold.

1/8/20 8:16pm

Middle of the night could be long again tonight.

game.blouses

1/8/20 8:19pm

Good to hear they catch on quickly.

1/8/20 8:23pm

Basically exactly how it went with our three kids too

SurreyDad

1/8/20 8:21pm

It sucks but oh so worth it.

LiveCoug

1/8/20 6:45pm

Are you crying or the baby?

TCuz

1/8/20 6:45pm

Lol both. Right now I’m stress eating a cheesecake

1/8/20 6:46pm

Good luck. I'll leave it at that.

lightmann

1/8/20 6:46pm

Stay strong. We put our babies on the opposite end of the house.

panguitch

1/8/20 6:49pm

I'd cry all night too if my dad was a yewt.

7H3F3RN

1/8/20 6:52pm

LOL touché.

1/8/20 6:59pm

Stay strong. It will pay off in the end. We had a few rough nights,

CBer

1/8/20 6:58pm

I changed my approach after reading “How Children Succeed”

Medute

1/8/20 7:04pm

Elevated cortisol levels? Is that why Slim can't gain weight?

TNT

1/8/20 7:05pm

Attachment is a big deal and forms a lot in our youth.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:06pm

The "cry it out" method is neglectful?

Endocoug

1/8/20 7:08pm

It seriously takes 3 days. We’re not talking a childhood full of trauma

1/8/20 7:12pm

Exactly. You just gotta give them tons of love and attention during the day.

1/8/20 7:40pm

Ha, see if it only takes 3 days. When we did it, that wasn’t the case

Medute

1/8/20 7:49pm

Well we have been using the “go get them” method the last month.

1/8/20 8:18pm

Never took longer than 3 days for any of our kids

1/8/20 8:19pm

Same here.

CBer

1/8/20 9:10pm

I’m no expert, either, but it depends on the age and what kind of neglect.

mobomanjoe

1/8/20 7:13pm

This is not what that book is talking about...those studies are done on

valleus

1/8/20 8:09pm

Yes, but it made me think about what happens physiologically with crying

Medute

1/8/20 8:16pm

I agree with you...every 30 minutes id go in and give a hug, but then

valleus

1/8/20 9:05pm

A noise machine and a microwavable stuffed animal really helped our daughter.

harrY

1/8/20 7:04pm

So, SO worth it

1/8/20 7:06pm

You got this. Stay strong. It’s glorious once they adapt...

m0resn0w

1/8/20 7:06pm

Thanks man!

1/8/20 7:40pm

Agreed, all 6 kids trained this way and all are independent sleepers no

DownFX

1/8/20 8:00pm

Ah...I remember those days...don’t miss them, just remember them 😉

Lifi

1/8/20 7:08pm

sorry, but the first few nights it could be an hour or more. BUT

Cougarclaw

1/8/20 7:26pm

Babies don’t manipulate. It’s their only form of communication.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:34pm

I was mostly being facetious but isn't getting people to do what you want

Cougarclaw

1/8/20 7:45pm

Babies absolutely manipulate. That kid clinging to his mother's ankle when she

panguitch

1/8/20 9:22pm

Toddler vs baby is different. And infants crying is not manipulating.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 9:37pm

My 5 month old baby fake coughs to get our attention.

1/8/20 9:41pm

Sounds like a yewt.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 11:15pm

Yeah, that's what they want you to think. Them with their innocent smiles.

panguitch

1/8/20 9:56pm

I appreciate the encouragement!

1/8/20 7:42pm

Last week we had to resleep train ours. First night was four hrs of crying. I

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:37pm

This week he’s gone to bed immediately. So a few bad nights, but now all good

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:37pm

Dang you’re saying it doesn’t end when they’re toddlers?!

1/8/20 7:43pm

They forget sometimes

Wagon

1/8/20 7:55pm

I kinda messed up with him. He got used to me lying down next to him while

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:56pm

We Went to New York for two weeks for work and our 2 year old regressed.

BYUinTX

1/8/20 7:58pm

We swear by sleep training. One of the best gifts you can give your kids is

Wagon

1/8/20 7:58pm

Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on the MIL. She helps us a lot and thinks we are monsters

1/8/20 8:21pm

We tried that once with our first and he cried so hard he threw up every where.

Nuke

1/8/20 8:04pm

NO YOU DON'T GO BACK!!!!! LET THEM CRY THEMSELVES TO SLEEPING

BYU Grounds

1/8/20 8:06pm

Different strokes. With the one we just did, we’d go in after 5 min, then 15,

maxpowers

1/8/20 8:22pm

This is what we had been doing. But it was causing a lot of middle of the night needs.

1/8/20 8:27pm

We did this too. We would touch them on the belly and talk to them.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:34pm

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it

valleus

1/8/20 8:10pm

My favorite verse in the Bible. Thank you Jesus.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:53pm

Stick with it- we had our first and didn't figure out sleep training until he

byusage

1/8/20 10:54pm

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