Yes, but it made me think about what happens physiologically with crying

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Jan 8, 2020
8:16:11pm

Medute All-American

Yes, but it made me think about what happens physiologically with crying

Crying with tears of neglect = bad

So where does one draw the line? I decided that I didn’t want my kid crying for 30 minutes hysterically. I have raised kids with the “cry it out” method and without. I decided after reading what happens to a child’s biochemical signals when it is in a state of prolonged crying that I would try to avoid those prolonged states. Nothing wrong with 5-10 minutes, but I decided to not allow it to go longer.

I’m not trying to act like I am right here. I have no clue. I just know that I changed my ways after reading that.

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Medute

Bio page: Medute
Joined: Jun 29, 2010
Last login: Apr 24, 2024
Total posts: 17,481 (1,107 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Tonight we are starting “cry it out” to sleep train our 5-month old. 15 minutes in, and counting.

Virginia Ute Ute Troll

1/8/20 6:38pm

Cry it out isn’t real evidence based iirc

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:40pm

It's worked for many.

Cougarrr

1/8/20 6:41pm

Evidence based for what?

sgriff

1/8/20 6:41pm

In terms of being the most successful/beneficial, etc.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:43pm

It’s what we did with all our kids

IceBlueCoug

1/8/20 6:41pm

Plenty of parents do things that aren’t recommended. Spanking for example.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:42pm

It’s also not recommended to eat cookie dough but it’s freakin delicious

IceBlueCoug

1/8/20 7:20pm

Indeed

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:30pm

It is evidenced based for my sanity

1/8/20 6:43pm

Touché.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 6:43pm

The pediatrician in the book I read had a lot of good studies backing it.

1/8/20 6:44pm

It worked for me in a dog trial.

SuperTank

1/8/20 6:50pm

It's what my parents did with me and my siblings and we are all

Slim

1/8/20 6:51pm

Its cruel

Backcountry

1/8/20 6:56pm

Nah. The baby won't remember squat and will still love you in the morning

LiveCoug

1/8/20 6:58pm

I couldnt do it. I broke after like 30 minutes

Backcountry

1/8/20 7:00pm

Understood, but it ain't cruel to the baby.

LiveCoug

1/8/20 7:15pm

Debatable.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:19pm

Not really. The baby won't remember. Cry it out doesn't mean always ignoring

LiveCoug

1/8/20 7:21pm

The lack of being able to remember something does not make it not cruel

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:31pm

That may be the worst comparison in the history of CB. Letting a child cry it

Dread Pirate Westley

1/8/20 8:18pm

It’s crystal clear you didn’t actually read my post. Congrats man.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 8:39pm

I read every word of your post. It's a terrible take.

Dread Pirate Westley

1/8/20 8:45pm

I consider it cruel to not have your kids on a regular sleeping

Coach's Dad

1/8/20 7:39pm

Not being favor of “cry it out” doesn’t mean not teaching your kids to sleep

spugeddy24

1/8/20 8:40pm

That what doesn’t kill you....

1/8/20 7:00pm

Worked for all my kids. Research be darned

Adwight

1/8/20 7:12pm

That’s what anti-vax parents say

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:13pm

You think those two things are similar?

1/8/20 7:18pm

No. The ignoring research part is similar.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:20pm

There’s a big difference between getting my kid to sleep

Adwight

1/8/20 7:54pm

RE: There’s a big difference between getting my kid to sleep

1/8/20 8:31pm

Ugh. I hate having new borns in the house. I basically don’t like kids until they’re 1+.

sgriff

1/8/20 6:41pm

It’s our first one. I’d agree with ya so far.

1/8/20 6:45pm

To me it’s age 4-5. Not a fan below that age.

cougfanz

1/8/20 7:15pm

If they keep it up for longer than 10 minutes they’re not ready IMO.

MormonThug

1/8/20 6:43pm

Hang in there. First night is horrible. 2nd night is 90% better.

game.blouses

1/8/20 6:45pm

How long are we talking cry wise? My wife and I made bets on like 1-2 hours.

1/8/20 6:48pm

My three kids probably cried for a solid hour the first night, 30 minutes the...

RazorCoug

1/8/20 7:14pm

Looks like we got out with 45 minutes tonight.

1/8/20 7:39pm

Both my daughters were 45 minutes (ish) the first night.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:03pm

That makes feel reassured to hear. Hopefully our kid isn’t some stubborn child who breaks the mold.

1/8/20 8:16pm

Middle of the night could be long again tonight.

game.blouses

1/8/20 8:19pm

Good to hear they catch on quickly.

1/8/20 8:23pm

Basically exactly how it went with our three kids too

SurreyDad

1/8/20 8:21pm

It sucks but oh so worth it.

LiveCoug

1/8/20 6:45pm

Are you crying or the baby?

TCuz

1/8/20 6:45pm

Lol both. Right now I’m stress eating a cheesecake

1/8/20 6:46pm

Good luck. I'll leave it at that.

lightmann

1/8/20 6:46pm

Stay strong. We put our babies on the opposite end of the house.

panguitch

1/8/20 6:49pm

I'd cry all night too if my dad was a yewt.

7H3F3RN

1/8/20 6:52pm

LOL touché.

1/8/20 6:59pm

Stay strong. It will pay off in the end. We had a few rough nights,

CBer

1/8/20 6:58pm

I changed my approach after reading “How Children Succeed”

Medute

1/8/20 7:04pm

Elevated cortisol levels? Is that why Slim can't gain weight?

TNT

1/8/20 7:05pm

Attachment is a big deal and forms a lot in our youth.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:06pm

The "cry it out" method is neglectful?

Endocoug

1/8/20 7:08pm

It seriously takes 3 days. We’re not talking a childhood full of trauma

1/8/20 7:12pm

Exactly. You just gotta give them tons of love and attention during the day.

1/8/20 7:40pm

Ha, see if it only takes 3 days. When we did it, that wasn’t the case

Medute

1/8/20 7:49pm

Well we have been using the “go get them” method the last month.

1/8/20 8:18pm

Never took longer than 3 days for any of our kids

1/8/20 8:19pm

Same here.

CBer

1/8/20 9:10pm

I’m no expert, either, but it depends on the age and what kind of neglect.

mobomanjoe

1/8/20 7:13pm

This is not what that book is talking about...those studies are done on

valleus

1/8/20 8:09pm

Yes, but it made me think about what happens physiologically with crying

Medute

1/8/20 8:16pm

I agree with you...every 30 minutes id go in and give a hug, but then

valleus

1/8/20 9:05pm

A noise machine and a microwavable stuffed animal really helped our daughter.

harrY

1/8/20 7:04pm

So, SO worth it

1/8/20 7:06pm

You got this. Stay strong. It’s glorious once they adapt...

m0resn0w

1/8/20 7:06pm

Thanks man!

1/8/20 7:40pm

Agreed, all 6 kids trained this way and all are independent sleepers no

DownFX

1/8/20 8:00pm

Ah...I remember those days...don’t miss them, just remember them 😉

Lifi

1/8/20 7:08pm

sorry, but the first few nights it could be an hour or more. BUT

Cougarclaw

1/8/20 7:26pm

Babies don’t manipulate. It’s their only form of communication.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 7:34pm

I was mostly being facetious but isn't getting people to do what you want

Cougarclaw

1/8/20 7:45pm

Babies absolutely manipulate. That kid clinging to his mother's ankle when she

panguitch

1/8/20 9:22pm

Toddler vs baby is different. And infants crying is not manipulating.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 9:37pm

My 5 month old baby fake coughs to get our attention.

1/8/20 9:41pm

Sounds like a yewt.

spugeddy24

1/8/20 11:15pm

Yeah, that's what they want you to think. Them with their innocent smiles.

panguitch

1/8/20 9:56pm

I appreciate the encouragement!

1/8/20 7:42pm

Last week we had to resleep train ours. First night was four hrs of crying. I

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:37pm

This week he’s gone to bed immediately. So a few bad nights, but now all good

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:37pm

Dang you’re saying it doesn’t end when they’re toddlers?!

1/8/20 7:43pm

They forget sometimes

Wagon

1/8/20 7:55pm

I kinda messed up with him. He got used to me lying down next to him while

maxpowers

1/8/20 7:56pm

We Went to New York for two weeks for work and our 2 year old regressed.

BYUinTX

1/8/20 7:58pm

We swear by sleep training. One of the best gifts you can give your kids is

Wagon

1/8/20 7:58pm

Oh my gosh don’t even get me started on the MIL. She helps us a lot and thinks we are monsters

1/8/20 8:21pm

We tried that once with our first and he cried so hard he threw up every where.

Nuke

1/8/20 8:04pm

NO YOU DON'T GO BACK!!!!! LET THEM CRY THEMSELVES TO SLEEPING

BYU Grounds

1/8/20 8:06pm

Different strokes. With the one we just did, we’d go in after 5 min, then 15,

maxpowers

1/8/20 8:22pm

This is what we had been doing. But it was causing a lot of middle of the night needs.

1/8/20 8:27pm

We did this too. We would touch them on the belly and talk to them.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:34pm

I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it

valleus

1/8/20 8:10pm

My favorite verse in the Bible. Thank you Jesus.

AZPTCOUG

1/8/20 8:53pm

Stick with it- we had our first and didn't figure out sleep training until he

byusage

1/8/20 10:54pm

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