1- Hey Few! Do you need a massage? Because your back must be really sore from carrying this conference for so long!
2-Hey Kispert! You’re a very handsome young man who seems like he’s going places in life, would you like my daughter’s phone number?
3-Hey Tillie! You pull off the Euro beard better than anyone in CBB history!
Sign idea: Giant thank you cards for the millions in NCAA Tournament credits over the years.
Sign idea: “We may be competing as foes tonight, but we can all agree that Randy Bennett is just the worst.”
During player intros: Hello Song
Take the competitive edge away from them early by overwhelming them with kindness and then punch them in the mouth. It would be the most BYU strategy ever (and trust me I recognize how totally cheesy and awful these are).