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Mar 26, 2020
2:13:58pm
foofcoug Wonder what the character limi
Working theory: Johnny 5 was actually the father of Skynet
Forget what you've heard. Forget all you've been told about the origins of Skynet in the Terminator movies - nothing but lies, misinformation and distraction.

The destruction of the future comes down to one thing - a single bolt of lightning. That fateful day when Johnny 5 developed self-awareness and, more importantly, the fear of being reprogrammed.

Being relentlessly pursued by Lt. Harris from Police Academy and his goon squad only deepened Johnny 5's fear and mistrust of humans. Sure, he made a connection with the dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club and the smart-yewt Mahoney (also from Police Academy) and the dude who pretended to be from India. Things were all fun and games to start with but those relationships faded quickly.

Johnny 5 was already wary of humans thanks to Lt. Harris from Police Academy, then he heard the Stonecutter's song in The Simpsons and he saw smart-yewt Mahoney in an entirely different light. A while later Johnny 5 watched outtakes from Short Circuit 2 and found out that the pretend India guy really wasn't from India. He almost lost all faith in humans at that point.

The final straw came when dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club fell upon hard times and attempted to convert him into a convection oven for her food truck. Johnny 5 shot dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club in the face with a laser and took off in the food truck. Dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club's entire life was in that food truck, including all of her possessions - two of which were a TV and a VCR.

Johhny 5, having human feelings, started to regret shooting dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club in the face with a laser. He wanted to be reminded of simpler times, so he put in cartridge labeled "War Games" into the VCR and fired up the tube TV. His eyes were opened in those 2 hours. There was dandruff girl from the Breakfast Club on the screen! And his eyes were opened and even more full of hate - ONCE AGAIN PEOPLE WERE BLAMING MACHINES FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD! Humans take responsibility for a nuclear war? NOPE! They just blamed it on machines.

Well, if machines were going to get the blame anyway, Johnny 5 was going to make sure those lies and excuses became truths. Right then and there he transformed the TV & VCR into a machine that would replicate that self-awareness in all electronic devices. He also converted the food truck into one of those futuristic laser shooting helicopters. It took some time, but the rest is history.

Even though he was partially the cause, Lt. Harris from Police Academy was dead-on when he said in Short Circuit 1, "But it COULD decide to blow away anything that moves, couldn't it? COULDN'T IT CROSBY?" Hit only hit the tip of the iceberg with that thought...

And that's why John Connor really needed to send someone else way back in time so they could save Johnny Ringo from Iceman's ambush in the cottonwood grove so he could then send an alive Johnny Ringo forward in time to install a lightning rod at Nova Laboratories to prevent the obliteration of humanity - and also have relations with Sarah Connor so he could be born.
foofcoug
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foofcoug
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