Three kids, wife and I hop in the van to head down for some el Mexiquense. Get to the parking lot, everyone is fine. I go inside and am waiting to pay for my food. I’m gone about five minutes.

Come back to the car, open the door, and my wife is yelling “you’re getting poop everywhere!”

I look back and our 8-yo is holding a diaper. I immediately open the sliding door where our 20-month-old sits, assuming they had to change his diaper and he was flailing around.

6-yo daughter is crying in the middle seat.

I look to the 8-yo and notice he’s holding his shorts that are covered in poop. Like diarrhea poop. Look down at his feet and his shoes are covered with it. And some on the floor mats (I had earlier taken out the all weather mats, great).

In the five minutes I was gone, he went from being normal, to suddenly having to poop immediately. But none of the restroom bathrooms were open (freaking covid), and he apparently couldn’t hold it.

We drive through the parking lot to the dumpster area and have him jump out. Send him inside the little gate with a box of wipes and a diaper. While he’s cleaning himself, I’m cleaning his shoes and the car mats.

After 10 minutes and 50 wet wipes later, he gets in the car, wearing only a size 3 diaper, and off we go.

But those tacos al pastor...worth it.