2) treat them as adults as early as possible, that includes chores, rewards, punishments 3) speak softly and carry a big stick...just don't use it.

We gave our kids chores based upon age...every year they got a new one. We identified 100 things that needed to be done around the house and they had their chores to do, before they got to do anything they wanted. Only ever had one child push back on two things. 1) he said he didn't want to go to church, I said OK, here is a list of 3 hours of hard time work that has to be done by the time we get home...he was ready for church in 5 minutes. Second time as a Sr in High School he said he was so tired of people telling him what to do that he was going to join the Marines. I just burst out laughing and showed him a movie about boot camp....that was the end of his "rebellion". My kids have had it very easy in life, but they all know how to work and they work hard.

There are no secrets...its literally whatever works for you