I agree that the burden has been unfairly placed on mostly one person. But

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Jul 16, 2020
9:19:08am

LaserCoug Truly Addicted User

I agree that the burden has been unfairly placed on mostly one person. But

instead of reaching out to the other siblings, she is cutting them off and just making decisions. I think the discussion needs to be how to lighten the burden on her while allowing the parents to have the dignity that they deserve. And I think my wife would move up there in a heart beat if it wasn't for my job in New Mexico.

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LaserCoug

Previous username: (Private)
Bio page: LaserCoug
Joined: Dec 5, 2006
Last login: Apr 24, 2024
Total posts: 27,634 (9,871 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Elderly care question. Wife's grandparents are in their early 90s and still

LaserCoug

7/16/20 8:55am

I’m wife you. I wouldn’t do a nursing home under almost any circumstance

cougfanz

7/16/20 8:58am

Problem is that there is only one who is really making decisions

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:03am

I agree with u- More than reasonable to speak with them Then

cougfanz

7/16/20 9:08am

As a grandchild, I'd stay out of it until someone asked my opinion. This is a decision that needs to be made

IceBlueCoug

7/16/20 9:01am

Yep as a doc the worse was when some granddaughter from 3 states away

cougfanz

7/16/20 9:04am

Not sure on that. Grandkids in their late 40s have both resources and energy

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:05am

That's good, but, grandchildren should stay on the sidelines until asked to help.

IceBlueCoug

7/16/20 9:16am

Yup. We should let the grownups do the hard stuff.

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:29am

Where are these grandparents?

7/16/20 9:10am

Just north of Logan

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:16am

Unless your wife is willing to move to Logan and become the primary caregiver, she should probably defer

Sea Chicken

7/16/20 9:14am

I agree that the burden has been unfairly placed on mostly one person. But

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:19am

You’re assuming assisted living is so horrible. Thats false and not helpful.

7/16/20 9:45am

It depends on the facility. I watched both my grandfathers die in assisted

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:53am

"if not for my job". With no conflicts, everyone else would also do it.

cujo22

7/16/20 10:50am

My wife can do her job from anywhere. If she hadn't been stupid and married me,

LaserCoug

7/16/20 4:26pm

My friend runs a small assisted living facility in Hyde Park

7/16/20 9:19am

Funny, I literally just looked at their website this morning. Glad to hear an

LaserCoug

7/16/20 9:24am

Ask for Xochithl Frankman. She goes by “Sochie”

7/16/20 9:29am

I would suggest calling and speaking with that.

BNcoug

7/16/20 9:57am

Since it's my wife's family I'll let her do that. I think a lot of the family

LaserCoug

7/16/20 10:10am

If the house is in good shape and they’re happy there, I’d see if there is money

BNcoug

7/16/20 1:50pm

My father passed away 6 months ago.

Hobo

7/16/20 10:14am

That sounds like a decent way to go. Sorry about your loss

LaserCoug

7/16/20 10:22am

My in-laws and her sister and husband

Freeloader

7/16/20 4:00pm

Tough question, what normally happens is one kid takes on most of work.

7/16/20 10:54am

I'm starting this conversation with my siblings on how to care for our aging

LaserCoug

7/16/20 11:00am

I drove through your town on Sunday, was going to stop to visit, but didn't want

7/16/20 11:02am

One of the keys is that major contributors need to be compensated.

Hobo

7/16/20 11:49am

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