First you should find out what his needs are.
Stay with them for several weeks to get a feel for what is going on. Also financials play a part. Something doesn’t add up though, if grandpa is doing well, why would they put him in a nursing home?

Also if extended family hasn’t been helping much for the last several years, you’re probably going to have to do some apologizing and schmooze with the caregiver as she is probably feeling tired and worn out.

Basically you have to get involved and that will require sacrifice of time and money. All of your ideas sound reasonable. It sounds like you’re missing their side of the story though.


I think it’s time to put your ideas to work. You should be on the phone today calling them or calling the siblings and seeing what’s going on. As long as you are polite most people appreciate the support. The best thing to do is to try and understand their perspective and motivations.