LEAKED: Transcript of the phone call between UW, BYU, and the PAC-12
UW: We would like to play you this weekend! "Anyone, anywhere, anytime, right?"
BYU: Right! Let's do it.
UW: Cool! You would have to follow PAC-12 COVID testing procedures this week.
BYU: Makes sense.
UW: And we'd have PAC-12 refs officiate the game.
BYU: *Sigh* that's fine.
UW: The game will be played in Seattle.
BYU: Cool beans.
UW: And there will be no payout.
BYU: Hmm . . . (glances at $20 million dollar deficit)
UW: AND the PAC-12 might force us to play Utah this week even if you commit to the game and travel to Seattle.
BYU: Oh, well that's too bad. This game makes a lot of sense for both sides. It would be great for us to beat a respectable power 5 team and you'd get a shot at the #8 team in the country. Unfortunately, we'll only commit if the game is guaranteed. Maybe we can call the PAC-12 and ask for permission?
UW: Sure, conferencing the PAC-12 into the call right now.
PAC-12: Hello, this is the PAC-12, Conference of Champions, what can I do for you?
UW: Hi, PAC-12, we want to play BYU this weekend but BYU wants a guarantee that we won't cancel the game if they're gonna travel to Seattle.
PAC-12: No can do UW. Things are looking bleak in Tempe and Utah might be left without an opponent. The rules we established would require you to play Utah.
BYU: Sorry to interrupt, but we have a proposal that could be a win-win for both sides. Why doesn't UW travel to Utah this weekend and if Arizona State cancels then they play Utah in Salt Lake, but if Arizona State doesn't cancel then they play BYU in Provo?
UW: Great idea BYU. We would be okay with that.
PAC-12: Well, if we go back on the scheduling rules that we already established then that would make the PAC-12 look like a bunch of idiots. *String of expletives*. We can't believe BYU thinks we're idiots! You just wait, we're going to leak this conversation and put a negative spin on it so every troll/yewt on Twitter and Reddit will have fuel against BYU for the rest of the season. The resentment towards BYU will grow and grow, causing their CFP Playoff rankings to plummet! How would you like that BYU?
UW: Uh, BYU already hung up.
PAC-12: What? When?
UW: When you cussed them out.
PAC-12: Those jerks are so hard to work with!
This message has been modified
Originally posted on Nov 24, 2020 at 2:32:06pm
Message modified by Tony Perkis on Nov 24, 2020 at 3:19:28pm