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Jan 13, 2021
12:13:12pm
Gorillas could be trained to play offensive guard
So I have been thinking about this for the past couple of days, and I think offensive guard would be the perfect position for a gorilla. Here are a few reasons:

1. They have great receptive language skills. They could easily be trained to react to the quarterback's voice and the referee's whistle. They could even respond to audio cues regarding blocking assignments at the line. They would likely need some other video/audio signals for leaving and entering the field of play.

2. They stand about six-feet tall but have a lower center of gravity when compared with humans. This would give them a leverage advantage.

3. The bent/stooped posture of offensive lineman is not a natural posture for humans but is for gorillas.

4. They are about 10 stronger than a human.

5. Other positions require too much situational awareness, hand dexterity and clear communication--but not so much with the offensive guard position.

6. They could not be students at the university, but they could further biological/zoological research on campus.

We all know CFB has become quite boring of late. Let's make it a more inclusive and dynamic sport. You got this CougarBoard.
the_big_blue_funk
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the_big_blue_funk
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Aug 27, 2018
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Jan 24, 2021
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