We could train them to storm the Capital. They already have crap smearing down.

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Jan 13, 2021
12:19:30pm

HansMoleman Truly Addicted User

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HansMoleman

Bio page: HansMoleman
Joined: Nov 25, 2008
Last login: Apr 24, 2024
Total posts: 19,733 (11,887 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Gorillas could be trained to play offensive guard

the_big_blue_funk

1/13/21 12:13pm

I think it'd be easier to train them as defensive tackles

4th and Niner

1/13/21 12:14pm

You could be right...

the_big_blue_funk

1/13/21 12:20pm

I agree - but I'd include the entire DL.

Eddie

1/13/21 12:24pm

They would have a hard time holding the ball when they mostly run on all 4

BYUFam1

1/13/21 12:30pm

Their hands are HUGE.

Eddie

1/13/21 12:53pm

"Kill the Quarterback" could become quite literal

2FarGone

1/13/21 12:26pm

RE: Gorillas could be trained to play offensive guard

dwhitebud

1/13/21 12:15pm

I think you have no idea how much situational awareness, hand dexterity, and clear communication it takes

Sea Chicken

1/13/21 12:16pm

Perhaps, but I think their superior strength and quickness could make up for it

the_big_blue_funk

1/13/21 12:22pm

Sea Chicken must have been an O-lineman. Seems triggered.

dryflycoug

1/13/21 1:57pm

These posts are the reason I'll never leave CB.

Vincent's Picks

1/13/21 12:16pm

Just hand the rock off to them. Who's going to tackle them? Another Touchdown!

rcbyufan

1/13/21 12:18pm

They also throw their poop. New pentalties?

Cougarclaw

1/13/21 12:18pm

why has Disney not made this into a movie?

byupirate

1/13/21 2:20pm

They have amazing arm length and massive hands

SanDiegoCoug

1/13/21 12:18pm

He could join Air Bud and Gus (the field goal kicking donkey)

BYUFam1

1/13/21 12:18pm

OICH!!

collin7

1/13/21 12:42pm

Personal foul, dismemberment, on the offense.

CSoul

1/13/21 12:19pm

AWWWW COME ON REF, IT"S STILL HANGING BY A THREAD! BOOOO

Cougarclaw

1/13/21 12:21pm

RE: AWWWW COME ON REF, IT"S STILL HANGING BY A THREAD! BOOOO

ldssdl

1/13/21 12:29pm

How do you explain holding, hands to the face, targeting or which team is which?

NOCAL_YFAN

1/13/21 12:19pm

All very good points I have to admit. Rethinking this.

the_big_blue_funk

1/13/21 12:32pm

Penalties would be a small price to pay for having 2 to 4 of your front 5 apes.

The Old Y

1/13/21 1:22pm

We could train them to storm the Capital. They already have crap smearing down.

HansMoleman

1/13/21 12:19pm

Wouldn't they be better in the media? Trib?

O Gaucho

1/13/21 12:20pm

You need to run some OL drills.. That will probably change your mind.

TheLost

1/13/21 12:20pm

Cheaper gifts for the QB to buy his OL

Ripliancum

1/13/21 5:22pm

Eastern Gorilla or Western Gorillas? You have to be more specific here.

Bandersnatch

1/13/21 12:20pm

Western lowland gorilla! That's the ticket. They are more numerous, have longer

the_big_blue_funk

1/13/21 12:28pm

There is East Coast bias to consider, perhaps recruiting more Eastern Gorillas

Bandersnatch

1/13/21 12:35pm

I dare you to show up to an OL meeting and share your thoughts.

mudpupper

1/13/21 12:21pm

Don't forget to bring your gorillas.

Ripliancum

1/13/21 5:22pm

A better animal would be a cheetah - train them to carry the ball, they're never

NOCAL_YFAN

1/13/21 12:21pm

Come on man, now you're just being unrealistic!

Bandersnatch

1/13/21 12:27pm

Not sure a cheetahs mouth could hold the ball especially with a helmet/facemask

BYUFam1

1/13/21 12:33pm

Also, someone roughs the passer, the gorilla tears off their arms.#entertainment

Zaphod

1/13/21 12:21pm

You have gorillas confused with Wookies

UtahCountyCoug

1/13/21 12:22pm

What do sharks, geese and bananas have in common?

Malathion

1/13/21 12:23pm

Forget gorillas. SASQUATCH in at noseguard.

niqmadu

1/13/21 12:25pm

Too tall. Maybe as a rush DE.

IdahoCoug

1/13/21 12:27pm

Bigfootball, a movie done right, would be an instant classic.

Turn and Cough

1/13/21 1:25pm

They have played fullback in the past...

crack

1/13/21 12:28pm

"Gorilla..shmilla. He's just another guy." Can't believe I watched that...

reezonablecoug

1/13/21 5:25pm

<< Deleted >>

GrumpyCougar

1/14/21 12:36am

Stalin wanted to fill the red army with a cross breed of human/ape super warrior

GeraldGarner

1/13/21 12:39pm

How would they do in cold weather games though?

Mike Honcho

1/13/21 12:44pm

slow clap for #6

SingleStrapBackpack

1/13/21 12:47pm

Yewts are like, '#6 could work for us.'

The Old Y

1/13/21 1:24pm

Could we use an elephant as RB?

mwcoug

1/13/21 12:50pm

They wouldn't even need jerseys. Just shave their number into their backs

SanDiegoCoug

1/13/21 1:00pm

This post is reminiscent of something from theGreenRake, for those who remember.

CatManBlue

1/13/21 1:44pm

As an added bonus

BlueBeliever

1/13/21 1:54pm

...end their *life.

IdahoCoug

1/13/21 2:17pm

Finish him!

libertycoug

1/14/21 11:17pm

Howard Cosell could've escaped the ire of calling a player a little monkey

buckeyecougarguy

1/13/21 2:22pm

What do you mean, African or European gorillas?

Mitty

1/13/21 2:56pm

@CougarBoard

1/13/21 2:57pm

Donkeys could place kickers!

BYU Grounds

1/13/21 3:22pm

Good luck getting them to obey the Honor Code.

Dr MoBYU

1/13/21 3:25pm

This thread could look really bad . . .

protonspring

1/13/21 9:10pm

You had to go there.

ditch

1/14/21 12:37am

I don't think they would count against our scholarships either.

sah22

1/13/21 9:10pm

It’d suck to be benched because a gorilla starts ahead of you.

NorthwestCoug

1/13/21 9:32pm

Little known fact: This is why Jane Goodall researched them in the first place

GrumpyCougar

1/14/21 12:38am

Yeah but humans don’t tear your arms out of your sockets when they lose.

(Private)

1/14/21 6:33am

But their ACT score only gets them into Boise State or Utah. 🤔

LEDSFW

1/14/21 8:19am

I have been called an albino gorilla before... 😂😂😂

BulldogCoug79

1/14/21 8:20am

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