I FEEL PITY FOR YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION.

• COMIC SANS OR SOME OTHER KIND OF HANDWRITTEN FONT THAT YOU THINK MAKES YOUR MESSAGE SEEM MORE PERSONAL, BUT IT REALLY DOESN'T BECAUSE IT DISTRACTS THE READER AND MAKES THEM WONDER WHAT KIND OF FOURTH GRADER THEY'RE DOING BUSINESS WITH AND WHETHER THEY HAD A SECRETARY TRANSCRIBE THE EMAIL FROM CRAYON AND CONSTRUCTION PAPER.

• MULTIPLE COLORS. IT DOESN'T SHOW THAT YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL. IT DOESN'T EVEN SHOW EMPHASIS. AT BEST IT SHOWS THAT YOU CAN'T DIFFERENTIATE ELECTRONIC AND PRINT MODALITIES, AND AT WORST IT SHOWS THAT YOU ARE AN EGOTISTICAL NARCISSIST WHO NEEDS EVERYONE TO KNOW YOU EXIST AND STUFF.

• INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ARE OFTEN INTENDED TO INSPIRE AND ENCOURAGE THOSE WHO READ THEM, BUT ARE COMPLETELY IGNORED IN AN EMAIL SIGNATURE; ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY COMPRISE AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH THAT APPEARS AS A BLOCK OF TEXT TO THE RECIPIENT AND CONFIRMS THAT YOU ARE BOTH DESPARATELY IN NEED OF VALIDATION OF YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AND SUFFER FROM A SEVERE LACK OF IDENTITY BY NEEDING TO ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT IT WILL MARK YOU AS A THOUGHTFUL INTELLECTUAL TO THOSE WHOM YOU SEND EMAIL.

-mutu