have been pretty frugal. We bought an inexpensive starter home and built a lot of equity up in it before we moved. We've always bought cars that were 3-4 years old, etc.

Last year we moved to a new state and both started new and better paying jobs. We splurged a little on our house, but it was close to our dream house with a pool in a nice area. We still almost never use the upstairs (2 bedrooms and a bonus room that has a small theater), but we figure we'll grow into it as our 3 kids get older. I figured it was better to raise our kids in a nicer, bigger house, than to move to one 10 years from now when the kids are older. We got a good deal on the house, and now we have a lot of equity in it. Plus moving to a house with a pool on a big lot right before the pandemic was a big win. Our payment is still easily affordable.

My brother raised his 4 kids almost entirely (for ~20 years) in a very old 1200 sqft house that had belonged to his wife's grandmother. He paid cash for that house and a couple rentals, and always had plenty of money, but he always tried very hard to avoid debt.

He spent 10 years paying cash and slowly building his dream house, which was around 8000 sqft. Problem was, that by the time he got it finished, his youngest kid was only a couple years away from finishing high school. Now he has a very nice house that is paid for, but it's way too big for just him and his wife.

I can't help but think that he would've been better off just building a new, smaller house sooner and raising his kids in that house. I would rather spend a bit more when my kids are young, then downsize when my wife and I get older. Too many people end up in their dream house when there's nobody left to live in it.