I was talking to my cousin whos wife has severe depression. His bil committed

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Jun 17, 2021
4:01:49pm

cougaman Intervention Needed

I was talking to my cousin whos wife has severe depression. His bil committed

suicide a few years ago. I said "at least she sees how hard it was for your family when ------ killed himself". He said "I think she sees that everyone is still surviving and thinks they are doing fine without him, and it would be the same without her."

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cougaman

Bio page: cougaman
Joined: Mar 11, 2006
Last login: Apr 23, 2024
Total posts: 68,454 (4,399 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Just heard that a dear friend of mine chose to take his own life this morning.

Joysey

6/17/21 2:31pm

So sorry to hear that. It is always a tragedy when someone goes this route.

SingleStrapBackpack

6/17/21 2:37pm

So sad! A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Soy Celeste

6/17/21 2:41pm

Those people aren't dealing with things that feel temporary.

6/17/21 3:33pm

I got a call like that about 20 years ago. It still hurts.

panacablue

6/17/21 2:43pm

Terribly sad. I'm sorry you and his family and friends have to go through this.

ebv

6/17/21 2:44pm

Thank you

Zip

6/17/21 2:47pm

Thanks, I was trying to express this elsewhere, but this is a great metaphor.

ReyOso

6/17/21 3:03pm

Exactly right

vegas guey

6/17/21 3:04pm

Only those who have stood ready

QBarrister

6/17/21 7:15pm

I don't think anger toward that person is an appropriate response

Zip

6/17/21 2:44pm

But is part of the process anyway...

WIGGIN

6/17/21 2:46pm

People grieve in their own ways. Not really your spot to tell him what way is appropriate to grieve.

Talker

6/17/21 2:47pm

It might not be appropriate, but is certainly is understandable. Especially when it's so recent. Give Joysey some time

SingleStrapBackpack

6/17/21 2:48pm

Anger is a normal response. Completely normal initial response to such a

valleus

6/17/21 2:52pm

Anger is absolutely normal. I had a brother take his own life many years ago and

m0resn0w

6/17/21 2:58pm

Maybe. Unfortunately, that doesn't fix anything.

Belboz

6/17/21 2:58pm

That is the most common response.

Everyman

6/17/21 3:10pm

Again, we are thinking of ourselves or others when we react with anger

Zip

6/17/21 3:17pm

Of course. That's sort of how it works.

Belboz

6/17/21 3:22pm

... but the person who ended their life wasn't being selfish?

crazY

6/17/21 3:52pm

Possibly, but that is for him to answer for

Zip

6/17/21 3:54pm

So wouldn't it follow that somebody has a negative emotional response when

crazY

6/17/21 4:19pm

Right. Feelings can be selfish. There are people who like pizza

Belboz

6/17/21 5:00pm

None of your answers relate

Zip

6/17/21 7:09pm

What's the point of telling someone his immediate emotional reaction is selfish?

Belboz

6/17/21 7:37pm

Is anger toward someone that just took their life a Godly emotion?

Zip

6/17/21 7:52pm

Sure, but now what?

Belboz

6/17/21 8:04pm

Ok, I will tell you a story

Zip

6/17/21 8:25pm

Immediate emotional response doesn't normally linger forever.

Belboz

6/17/21 8:43pm

I understand what you are saying.

Zip

6/17/21 8:54pm

The examples are not the point. Condescension being unhelpful is the point

Belboz

6/17/21 9:11pm

I pointed out a truth

Zip

6/17/21 9:59pm

The timing is bad.

Belboz

6/18/21 8:12am

Just zip it dude. Yes anger is a godly emotion. Literally hundreds of scriptural references.

Blue2thebone

6/18/21 12:06am

Actually no it isn't

Zip

6/18/21 3:48am

Hey Zip…..it

Blue2thebone

6/18/21 7:47am

Maybe not, but it's understandable. Close friend did the same thing. I also felt

BleedCougarBlue2

6/17/21 5:07pm

Sadness and devastation are one thing

Zip

6/17/21 7:15pm

and telling someone that immediate response is inappropriate is unhelpful

Belboz

6/17/21 8:20pm

Zip it

Blue2thebone

6/17/21 7:29pm

That's not an appropriate response either

Zip

6/17/21 7:53pm

Saying that to someone who is grieving, isn't helpful.

ditch

6/17/21 11:28pm

I would never begrudge anyone checking out

vegas guey

6/17/21 2:49pm

Brother, are you doing okay? Life is miserable and full of pain, but a regular

valleus

6/17/21 3:24pm

I felt this way for a long time. But I am 100% certain you can get better if you

chitownboy

6/17/21 3:49pm

More importantly, there is still joy to be had in your life. People will miss

cougaman

6/17/21 2:52pm

I had a buddy of mine commit suicide four years ago this month. It surprised everyone, and I mean everyone - his wife,

6/17/21 3:09pm

Often, the person committing suicide

6/17/21 3:43pm

I was talking to my cousin whos wife has severe depression. His bil committed

cougaman

6/17/21 4:01pm

That’s so hard

6/17/21 4:29pm

I once heard someone say that it is like telling someone that everything is ok

Bin01015

6/18/21 7:28am

Bingo

spugeddy24

6/18/21 11:35am

I agree with you 100%. I’ve never understood it because I’ve never felt that low

Nuke

6/17/21 3:59pm

A friend of mine put it best… the pain and sadness people think they are

Pretorian

6/17/21 4:03pm

I'm so sorry to hear this happened. The few times I have felt depressed myself,

Breaded Hamster

6/17/21 4:58pm

I am terribly sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers to you and your friend's

BleedCougarBlue2

6/17/21 5:03pm

That’s so hard! I’m so sorry.

robbieblue

6/17/21 5:20pm

I received a phone call from my dad back in 1988.

robbieblue

6/17/21 5:22pm

Thank you for saying this.

6/17/21 6:58pm

<< Deleted >>

6/17/21 6:58pm

<< Deleted >>

lefty

6/17/21 9:51pm

So sorry to hear. Very sad. This thread is indicative of the struggle

lefty

6/17/21 9:56pm

Many times suicidal people feel like others are better off without them. This could apply in this case. I see this a lot

spugeddy24

6/18/21 11:32am

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