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Jun 17, 2021
7:37
:19
pm
Belboz
Truly Addicted User
What's the point of telling someone his immediate emotional reaction is selfish?
Sure. It's selfish, but now what? I won't assume you suggest his feelings should be changed because of that, but is that your aim?
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Belboz
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Belboz
Joined
Jul 5, 2001
Last login
Apr 25, 2024
Total posts
73,527 (13,023 FO)
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Messages
Author
Time
Just heard that a dear friend of mine chose to take his own life this morning.
Joysey
6/17/21 2:31pm
So sorry to hear that. It is always a tragedy when someone goes this route.
SingleStrapBackpack
6/17/21 2:37pm
So sad! A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Soy Celeste
6/17/21 2:41pm
Those people aren't dealing with things that feel temporary.
Lip Gallagher
6/17/21 3:33pm
I got a call like that about 20 years ago. It still hurts.
panacablue
6/17/21 2:43pm
Terribly sad. I'm sorry you and his family and friends have to go through this.
ebv
6/17/21 2:44pm
Thank you
Zip
6/17/21 2:47pm
Thanks, I was trying to express this elsewhere, but this is a great metaphor.
ReyOso
6/17/21 3:03pm
Exactly right
vegas guey
6/17/21 3:04pm
Only those who have stood ready
QBarrister
6/17/21 7:15pm
I don't think anger toward that person is an appropriate response
Zip
6/17/21 2:44pm
But is part of the process anyway...
WIGGIN
6/17/21 2:46pm
People grieve in their own ways. Not really your spot to tell him what way is appropriate to grieve.
Talker
6/17/21 2:47pm
It might not be appropriate, but is certainly is understandable. Especially when it's so recent. Give Joysey some time
SingleStrapBackpack
6/17/21 2:48pm
Anger is a normal response. Completely normal initial response to such a
valleus
6/17/21 2:52pm
Anger is absolutely normal. I had a brother take his own life many years ago and
m0resn0w
6/17/21 2:58pm
Maybe. Unfortunately, that doesn't fix anything.
Belboz
6/17/21 2:58pm
That is the most common response.
Everyman
6/17/21 3:10pm
Again, we are thinking of ourselves or others when we react with anger
Zip
6/17/21 3:17pm
Of course. That's sort of how it works.
Belboz
6/17/21 3:22pm
... but the person who ended their life wasn't being selfish?
crazY
6/17/21 3:52pm
Possibly, but that is for him to answer for
Zip
6/17/21 3:54pm
So wouldn't it follow that somebody has a negative emotional response when
crazY
6/17/21 4:19pm
Right. Feelings can be selfish. There are people who like pizza
Belboz
6/17/21 5:00pm
None of your answers relate
Zip
6/17/21 7:09pm
What's the point of telling someone his immediate emotional reaction is selfish?
Belboz
6/17/21 7:37pm
Is anger toward someone that just took their life a Godly emotion?
Zip
6/17/21 7:52pm
Sure, but now what?
Belboz
6/17/21 8:04pm
Ok, I will tell you a story
Zip
6/17/21 8:25pm
Immediate emotional response doesn't normally linger forever.
Belboz
6/17/21 8:43pm
I understand what you are saying.
Zip
6/17/21 8:54pm
The examples are not the point. Condescension being unhelpful is the point
Belboz
6/17/21 9:11pm
I pointed out a truth
Zip
6/17/21 9:59pm
The timing is bad.
Belboz
6/18/21 8:12am
Just zip it dude. Yes anger is a godly emotion. Literally hundreds of scriptural references.
Blue2thebone
6/18/21 12:06am
Actually no it isn't
Zip
6/18/21 3:48am
Hey Zip…..it
Blue2thebone
6/18/21 7:47am
Maybe not, but it's understandable. Close friend did the same thing. I also felt
BleedCougarBlue2
6/17/21 5:07pm
Sadness and devastation are one thing
Zip
6/17/21 7:15pm
and telling someone that immediate response is inappropriate is unhelpful
Belboz
6/17/21 8:20pm
Zip it
Blue2thebone
6/17/21 7:29pm
That's not an appropriate response either
Zip
6/17/21 7:53pm
Saying that to someone who is grieving, isn't helpful.
ditch
6/17/21 11:28pm
I would never begrudge anyone checking out
vegas guey
6/17/21 2:49pm
Brother, are you doing okay? Life is miserable and full of pain, but a regular
valleus
6/17/21 3:24pm
I felt this way for a long time. But I am 100% certain you can get better if you
chitownboy
6/17/21 3:49pm
More importantly, there is still joy to be had in your life. People will miss
cougaman
6/17/21 2:52pm
I had a buddy of mine commit suicide four years ago this month. It surprised everyone, and I mean everyone - his wife,
Texas Hammer
6/17/21 3:09pm
Often, the person committing suicide
Solomon Levi
6/17/21 3:43pm
I was talking to my cousin whos wife has severe depression. His bil committed
cougaman
6/17/21 4:01pm
That’s so hard
Solomon Levi
6/17/21 4:29pm
I once heard someone say that it is like telling someone that everything is ok
Bin01015
6/18/21 7:28am
Bingo
spugeddy24
6/18/21 11:35am
I agree with you 100%. I’ve never understood it because I’ve never felt that low
Nuke
6/17/21 3:59pm
A friend of mine put it best… the pain and sadness people think they are
Pretorian
6/17/21 4:03pm
I'm so sorry to hear this happened. The few times I have felt depressed myself,
Breaded Hamster
6/17/21 4:58pm
I am terribly sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers to you and your friend's
BleedCougarBlue2
6/17/21 5:03pm
That’s so hard! I’m so sorry.
robbieblue
6/17/21 5:20pm
I received a phone call from my dad back in 1988.
robbieblue
6/17/21 5:22pm
Thank you for saying this.
ColonelMustard
6/17/21 6:58pm
<< Deleted >>
ColonelMustard
6/17/21 6:58pm
<< Deleted >>
lefty
6/17/21 9:51pm
So sorry to hear. Very sad. This thread is indicative of the struggle
lefty
6/17/21 9:56pm
Many times suicidal people feel like others are better off without them. This could apply in this case. I see this a lot
spugeddy24
6/18/21 11:32am
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