I'll tell you a story.

Back in 1989, I was a missionary in Portugal. My mission president was a bit of a weirdo. Soon before I had my first interview with him after being deployed to my first area, I read in a letter from home that my paternal grandmother was very sick and likely would die soon.

While talking to the beloved President Copeland, he asked me how things were at home. I wasn't sure what to say at first, but then I remembered the bit about my grandmother and explained that to him. He looked me right in the eye and said, "She's as good as dead already."
Without transitioning from his cold tone, he further explained that she was across an ocean from me so she was the same to me dead or alive. I didn't have time to worry about her. I needed to be about my business. (Incidentally, he had been about the business of having sex with the mission home maid.)

I don't remember how I openly reacted to him, but I do remember thinking that it was a story that I'd be able to tell for years. Fortunately, I really didn't care if my grandma was dead or alive. She was old. She wasn't going to live forever. Whatever. Regardless, President Copeland didn't know how I felt about that. I've seen people get very upset about the death of a grandparent. He didn't know that I wasn't one of those people. He just went for it.

So yeah, he suggested that the feeling of missing her would have been wrong and selfish. Yeah, that's right and true.
If I had been broken up about my grandmother, however, I doubt that his cold tone would have done anything to help me. I imagine you'd disagree.

Hey, maybe you're President Copeland. If so, how's it going? I was happy to see you made an honest woman of her after the fact, but it sure sucks for your ex-wife and children.