Allow me to vent a bit here.....So my son applied for BYU as a high school senior and was accepted for Fall 2020. When BYU asked if he would be deferring for a mission or enrolling in the fall, he indicated he would defer. BYU then asked that once he receives his mission call, he provide a copy of it to BYU to finalize his deferral. Then COVID hits, I change jobs and we move from Texas to Arizona in the summer/early fall of 2020. Life is a bit chaotic for our family (and the world) at the time. Meanwhile, my son is preparing to submit his papers. He is working on a challenge that doesn't affect his ability to get an ecclesiastical endorsement, but does affect his ability to submit his mission application.

Fall comes and a mission call has not yet happened, he keeps working at a job while continuing to prepare to submit his papers. Winter semester comes and he still has not been able to submit his mission application and therefore provide a mission call to BYU to finalize his deferral. At this point, we decide that maybe he should just go to school while still working on submitting his papers. He is discouraged that the mission call isn't coming, and we feel it would be a more encouraging environment for him to be at BYU instead of just working at home.

So we call BYU and explain the situation and that we would like to change from deferral to enroll, ideally for Fall 2021. BYU says that not only can he not attend in the Fall (I feared that would be the case because I know the slots get filled quickly to capacity), but that he has no spot anymore and needs to re-apply for admission in Winter Semester 2022 with, of course, no guarantees of admission. I explained that we told BYU he would defer, but could not fulfill their requirement to provide a mission call, because he didn't/doesn't have one yet. They did not budge. We appealed to their sense of understanding the situation here - imagine being in my sons shoes...he wants to go on a mission, but can't yet, he doesn't enroll in school because he hopes to have a call imminently. Disheartened, he decides to go to school only to be told "sorry, no mission call, no deferral and no spot. To the back of the line!"

Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated, but we play along. So my son starts filling out the application again with essays, ecclesiastical endorsements ward & stake, and recommendation requests, everything. He re-completes it all, except one of the recommendations. It is the recommendation that has to be from a math, science or English teacher. He reached out to the Math teacher he used in his original application at her school email address (all we have), but of course, being summer, she hasn't responded. We're now approaching the winter application deadline.

So I call up BYU again and ask what can be done? Can we get a waiver on that recommendation request? Replace with another recommendation that maybe isn't from the finite population of his math, science, or english teachers? If not, can we extend the application deadline for him so that we can get a hold of the teacher in the fall? As you can imagine, the response is absolutely ZERO flexibility and understanding of the situation....a big fat "tough luck, kid."

Any big donors on here that want to throw your weight around and pull some strings for a fellow CBer's son? I don't know what else to do. BYU's argument is that by making an exception for him (of ANY kind), they're making it unfair vs. the other applicants. They have allowed the competitiveness of admissions to completely turn them into a cold-hearted, Darwinian machine. 🙁

My recommendation to you all - DO NOT DEFER. Even if your son is planning on serving a mission first, tell BYU you will enroll. Only tell them you will defer when you have a mission call in hand. If you don't have one in hand by beginning of fall semester, enroll in something, anything, even if you don't attend, so that you secure a spot for when your son does go on the mission and come home. Otherwise, BYU will pull the rug out from under you.