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Oct 15, 2021
12:23:03pm
runitup590 All-American
This is one of my favorite stories and I'm about to share it right here:

Our team at work is about 20 people. One guy is absolutely the cheapest guy on the planet, yet works in a highly-paid industry. To illustrate, I'll tell a story within a story:

Mini-tangent story

This guy one time drove to work in his undershirt, because he usually kept a polo shirt in his backseat (I won't derail further, just go with it).  On his way to work, he realizes he forgot a shirt, so he swings by Target on the way, buys a polo shirt, — keeps the tags on ---, wears it all day with tags, and then returns it on his way home because he didn't want to spend the 7 bucks due to his own mistake of [checks notes] forgetting clothes to wear to work.

Back to the main story

Everyone at work mercilessly teases this guy non-stop for his cheapness, and it is absolutely deserved.  One day, our team decides to order lunch to pick up from a really popular chicken sandwich place here in LA.  We all decide we'll each order one entree and then get a bunch of sides to share.  All the entrees are roughly the same price.

Well, for the entrees, every single person orders a chicken sandwich except one person who orders just the half-chicken itself, which is like $0.50 more than a chicken sandwich.

This move absolutely infuriates the cheap co-worker, who explains to everyone that he shouldn't be expected to subsidize the difference, despite the fact that when spread out over like 20 people, is literally TWO PENNIES.  To him, the amount is almost irrelevant and he can't handle the thought of spending more for someone else.

So what does our co-worker do? Oh I'll tell you.

He decides to plant a flag in the sand and REMOVES himself from the group lunch order over this.  He cannot tolerate being charged extra, and so therefore EVERYONE on the team is a part of this lunch order, except him.  He decides instead he will just bring his own sad lunch that day, which is usually some frozen terrible meal.

As if this wasn't ridiculous enough, fast forward to the moment we are all eating in the kitchen at work, all of us surrounding the tables, enjoying our chicken.  Mr. Cheapo is there too, just on the end of the row, diving into his frozen waffle or whatever.  

At this point, the head of our group walks in to the lunch room talking to someone else about something work-related.  After her conversation, she is leaving the kitchen headed back to her desk.  At this point, Mr. Cheapo on the end of the row stops her to ask a work-related question.  They chat for a second, and as they finish, she looks up and realizes the whole group is eating the same thing.  Being friendly, she asks where it's from and other small talk, and then as she is just about to walk back to her desk, she announces to the whole group:  "You know what, this is on me.  The whole lunch.  Whatever you guys paid, just send me the bill and I'll cover it all for you."

Guys, I can't begin to tell you the absolute chaos that ensued.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON ERUPTED INTO LAUGHTER AND CHEERS AND IMMEDIATELY STARTS DUNKING ON MR. CHEAPO.  I am talking "Vince Carter over a 7-footer in the Olympics" type dunking.  On repeat.  

It was the most transcendent moment of my entire career.

The guy who had gone so far out of his way to literally not pay 2 pennies, and alienated himself from the entire group in doing so, ends up missing out on a fantastic free meal ***AND IMPORTANTLY*** the only reason that the head of the group even offered to pay?  ITS BECAUSE MR. CHEAPO WAS THE ONE THAT STOPPED HER ON THE WAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN.  Had he not got her attention to talk about work for a second, she would have just kept walking right back to her seat and probably never even noticed what we were doing, and therefore would have never paid for our lunch.

To this day, this moment is still raved about among the group despite happening probably 5 years ago at this point.  I will absolutely never forget this.

End story.

runitup590
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runitup590
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Oct 15, 8:13pm

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