I’m so sorry. I’ve lost several friends/acquaintances lately.
The last few months it has been very young, former students around 20 years old. It hurts. I want to be compassionate but also scream at them because they knew better.
Self-righteous but a very real emotion for me. When my BIL killed himself in front of his family, it took me over a year to get where I could even mourn. I still feel a lot of anger. It’s an odd thing.