has a lot more extended family in the area than I do.

They get together for most major holidays, which isn't my preferred way to celebrate them (I prefer being around a much smaller group).

Anyway, here's the "deal" I made with my wife with respect to my attendance at her family events.

PART 1:
Thanksgiving and Christmas - if they celebrate these holidays on a day other than the actual holiday, I'll try to go every year (subject to the exception noted in PART 2). However, if they celebrate these on the actual holiday itself, I'm only obligated to go every other year (my parents and one sister live in the area, I think it's only fair that I spend these holidays with them on alternating years, and I refuse to do both sides on the same holiday, a.k.a., the Costanza Thanksgiving Principle, which I also apply to Christmas):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10bPgvjSAWE

PART 2:
I'm not obliged to go to any event where there are at least four consecutive work days immediately following the day of the event. This typically gets me out of Easter Sunday (as well as Sunday dinners in general), Memorial Day, and Labor Day.

We usually go out of town over Independence Day.

They usually don't do anything for Halloween or New Year's.

So, as far as my attendance is concerned, it's pretty much just Thanksgiving and Christmas with the above stipulations.


My wife is generally okay with this (I don't prevent her or the kids from going to things I elect to skip) even though some of her extended family are not.

The way I see it, if we'd never moved to Utah in the first place, we'd never go to any extended family events. So any attendance by any of our family members at anything should be viewed as a glass half-full as opposed to a glass half-empty.