Archaeologists have uncovered a "cool" new discovery: the Cool Whip containers used by the Pilgrims to keep their leftovers after the first Thanksgiving. The 400-year-old Cool Whip containers are reportedly "remarkably well-preserved" and still contain leftovers of mashed potatoes, turkey, ham, and cranberry sauce that are "as fresh as they were back in 1621."
(THIS IS SATIRE)