I won’t go into the cause of my recent weight gain, other than to say it’s largely due to some health problems that incurred after 9/11 (I rescued a few dozen people but received severe burns over 80% of my body).

I usually fly first class, cuz I can afford it and it gives me the extra room I need.

So the ONE TIME I don’t upgrade (because only coach was available), I get stuck next to this guy with AWFUL B.O. And to make matters worse, he’s got his gigantic gaming laptop out and keeps elbowing me as he types away.

I noticed his Quest for Perfection shirt, so out of curiosity I glanced at his laptop screen… sure enough, he’s typing away on Cougarboard.

Ugh… this is going to be a long flight.