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Oct 1, 2022
9:37:18am
(Private) Family Man
So I went to a Hocus Pocus party at my sister's last night... so lame.
So, my sister is a huge fan of the movies. Basically I think she loves all things Halloween and Hocus Pocus in particular because it gives her an excuse "dress up" to show off her "assets".. she's been like this since high school.

Anyway, she's hosting this party and literally no one except the women in the family are going. My dad won't watch this movie because it is so annoying. He says its because there are witches, but he's married to my mom so... we all know that's not true. Even my sister won't go because it reminds her too much of mom. My sister's step kids are bailing on her — going to football games, or just not showing up.

Anyway, my wife insists that we go. I try to warn her. I try using my dad's excuse about religion and witches... she just laughs it off. No dice. I'm locked in. We show up to the house and as expected, all my sister's kids and step children don't want to watch. We have to wait for my parents, Dad finally arrives, talks about how this is evil witchery and he won't watch it. Mom, says something about being a good man and bishop but then rushes to grab a good seat. My sister is also, dressed like a .... witch I guess? My brother in law seems torn between watching her, almost drooling, and watching me — increasing my discomfort. I don't know if his wild eyed look is for me or my sister. Just discomforting all around.

Anyway, we sit down to watch the movie and 5 minutes in I decide I'm going to be like the juror trying to get out of juror duty. I tell the kids to start pestering their uncle about his time in the Marine corps. Once they are at work I start making up stuff. I start weighing in on every detail. One scene there were two men on a couch. I claim they are gay and this is indoctrinating my kids. I complain that the music is written in a minor key on purpose to annoy people. I start bringing up the illuminati... finally my wife has enough and gives me the head nod to signal we can go. Gratefully she has had enough as well it seems, of the movie or of me I can't tell. But I don't care. I just want to get out. My brother in law is still ogling my sister and I really think he is drooling openly now. He also seems to be enjoying my rants. Its weird, but I tolerate him because he tolerates my sister and her fetishes.

So, I announce I'm leaving, in a grand climax I say that it is some liberal fantasy sent to indoctrinate us and Trump is still really the president. Finally I'm out of there. My wife gets a kick out of it on the way home and asks if I want her to dress up like a hocus pocus witch later. But that is where this story ends.
This message has been modified
Originally posted on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:37:18am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:40:51am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:42:48am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:45:57am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:46:51am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:49:43am
Message modified by cbluil on Oct 1, 2022 at 9:50:15am
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