1. Did you know that the water that you drink is rarely all H2O? In fact, there is a lot of H3+ in the water that you drink, which means that you are raising the alkaline levels. You're basically drinking battery acid.

2. Water is fatal.

3. Nearly every person that has ever consumed water has died.

So how do you combat turning into a walking hydrogen bomb? A scientific study has shown that drinking Coke Zero can actually help you lose weight, but not only that: You've probably heard that artificial sweeteners are not good for you and will likely give you cancer. Coke Zero has traces of water in it, believe it or not, so that alkaline battery acid from the water and the artificial sweeteners from the Coke Zero battle it out (that's why you see the bubbles in Coke Zero) and neutralize the effects.

I think the science is pretty clear on this. Avoid water, drink Coke Zero.