to understand better. Top on the list is why do a lot of us have to endure aging. I don't fear death, I just don't look forward to the physical process of it.

It is hard watching my mother age and seeing her being able to do less and less and know I'll be there in the not so soon future. She was 21 when I was born and always seemed a very young mother. I know this process has gone down over and over again through the milleniums, but somehow that doesn't make it easier.

I had an experience when I was playing on HS JVarsity team. I joined the huddle and one of my teammates says, "Who's that hot chick your brother is with on the sidelines?" I look over and then turned back to the guy and said, "My mother". That was a cool day.

I want to understand childhood in the eternal aspect of things. To start out with a physical body and you have to learn everything and it takes several years before you can survive on your own. So much can go wrong. I think I have a better handle on the why of parenting as we experience creating someone who usually becomes so dear to us and watching them learn and the heartaches that go along with that process. My oldest daughter struggled so much growing up. In teen years she attempted suicide 3 times. It's so hard when you are faced with trying to get one of your children to embrace this mortality. She got through it and ended up with a masters in teaching and has been a phenominal educator. Last week, at the age of 47, she for the 1st time is pregnant. I don't know if she'll make it to term, but at least she made it to finally experience pregnancy. It has been a stumbling block for her spiritually to understand that struggle.