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Feb 4, 2023
Ikuna All-American
Very difficult post for me to make, but asking for some help from CB.
My family is facing what will almost certainly be the most difficult challenge we have ever faced this week. A few days ago, my little brother (33) sent my parents an email that was scheduled to go out after he had sent it. In it, he informed us of his intent to take his own life. He has battled crippling depression, social anxiety, low self esteem, and a very difficult epileptic seizure disorder for years. He had become very withdrawn, including from many members of his own family. To be honest, myself and many in my family suspected for a long time that this could be the eventuality, and we tried everything we knew to help him.

Losing a family member to suicide is insanely difficult no matter what. But what is making this situation uniquely difficult for us to process is that my little brother, Josh, in what we understand to be a very KIND hearted way of ensuring that none of us in the family had to be the ones that found his body, has given us no indication of where his body can or will be found. His car is gone, and he gave us instructions on what to do with some of his stuff. It is clear that he intends for his car to be found--and we suspect that his body will be nearby. But we have been left with no clue of where that car is, or where his remains can or will be found.

Now, I want to say something. That decision has compounded the difficulty of my own grieving process. In fact, for the first day, I buried my grief in anger at that decision. How dare he compound his loss by adding the uncertainty of a search and recovery process? But more context than I could possibly provide on CB makes me understand that even THAT part of this, although I still absolutely hate it--was done with absolute good intention. He knew this was going to hurt us--but he wanted to spare us as much trauma as he possibly could.

We fully expect that Josh is no longer with us. And the grief that follows that is absolutely immense. But we want so much to be able to find his car, and presumably his remains so that we can close that chapter of uncertainty. And that is where I am asking for CB's help. We are working with Orem PD (which has been fantastic btw), to try and find Josh's car. His phone records, bank accounts, and any other communications he had with anyone has not and will not be helpful in helping to find him. Orem PD made a post on their Facebook page, which is being shared, and which I will link. What we are really asking for is some extra eyes and shares of that Facebook post from Orem PD, especially for those with networks in the Utah County area.

Please keep your eyes out for dark gray Mazda 6 in a spot that doesn't belong. The car has a large 311 sticker on the back window. We believe that finding his car will be the key to finding Josh, getting him to his final resting place, and providing some closure and peace for my family.

Because I know that this CB community is full of really good people, I want to say that under the circumstances, the last few days for myself and my family have been insanely difficult, and full of grief and loss--but that there has also been laughter and memories, moments of peace, and deep gratitude. Ultimately, we know that we are going to be okay. But any help that can be given in closing this chapter of uncertainty would be so so appreciated.

Here is the link to the Orem PD facebook page. The most recent post with the 311 logo is the one I'd like to draw some additional visibility to. In addition to keeping your own eyes open for Josh's car, likes, and shares of that post to increase its visibility in Orem and surrounding areas would also be very much appreciated.

Lastly, I just want to say that I absolutely understand that reading this situation may cause a reaction in some on the 'selfish' or 'sloppy' nature that my little brother chose to go about doing this. I assure you, no frustration of yours would match my own that I have grappled with over the last few days. I REALLY really wish that Josh would have included in part of his plan a way for us to easily locate him quickly. And I don't fully understand yet why he didn't. I don't blame anyone for thinking that this was poorly done by my little brother. I only ask that if you DO have those thoughts, or if you have a critical response, that you please keep that criticism to yourself, and out of the thread of this post, and off of any social media posts related to searching for Josh.

Thank you for reading this far into this post. I'm sorry to give the board such a sad post on such a beautiful Saturday afternoon. But I have seen this CB community at work, and I think I would be foolish to underestimate the reach and impact that sharing this on CB could have in the search effort for Josh's car. Please keep your eyes peeled, and whatever thoughts and prayers you can contribute towards an internet stranger's family in the most difficult week of our lives would be genuinely appreciated as well.
This message has been modified
Originally posted on Feb 4, 2023 at 1:29:07pm
Message modified by Ikuna on Feb 4, 2023 at 1:30:07pm
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Aug 31, 2011
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Mar 29, 2023
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Related Threads Children:
Update: My little brother's car has been found. (Ikuna, Feb 6, 2023 at 12:12am)

Other Related Threads:
RE: Update: Josh was found this afternoon. Super thankful for all the thoughts (ColonelMustard, Feb 7, 2023 at 12:29am)
Feb 5, 6:58am

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